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09:29 pm: Personal In-Home Mashgiach- the Answer to All Our Problems.

Dear Chareidi Rabbonim,

I wanted to tell you how much I approve of your recent Modest Hotels campaign. Hotels under your authorization, from what I gather, will have to hide their televisions and internet modems. Only married persons will have access to the internet and if someone claims that they are allowed to watch television and his "looks prove this," a rabbi will be consulted for a special dispensation. There are other rules, but I think this is a great start. 

However, this is only a first step. I am sure, Honorable Rabbonim, that you are aware that tragically,  some frum people watch televisions not only in hotels, but also IN THEIR HOMES. Some frum people even have pre-marital or extra-marital internet access, challilah. People, women mostly (of course), even talk loshon horah on the phone, in their homes, their bayis neeman b'yisroel. I won't go on, but you can surely imagine the terrible aveiros people do in the privacy of their own homes.

 These horrible situations are surely responsible for all the tzaros of klal yisroel and more efforts are surely needed to rectify the problem. I suggest that " The Committee for the Character of the Jewish People" send out individual rabbonim and rebbetzins to provide hashgacha on our homes. Here are some services that these personal-care rabbonim could provide for klal yisroel:

* Listening to phone conversations to make sure no loshon hora or nivul peh is being spoken.

* Removing inappropriate magazines which may have pictures of females or articles written from an anti-Torah perspective (even worse) directly from the mailbox so these impurities do not even enter our homes.

*Updating us on the most effective chinuch strategies to use with our precious kinderlach.

* Accompanying the Eishes Chayil of the household on her shopping trips to assure the kashrus of the products she buys AND the conversations she has.

* Accompanying the Baal Habayis to his nightly shiur and mincha/maariv, to ensure that he is not really going to a Biker- Babe Bar instead.

* Alerting the household when a chillul shabbos is about to occur, such as when a child wishes to blow bubbles or play with Legos.

* Monitoring bedroom activities for compliance with the shulchan aruch's directives.

* Cleaning out closets of any clothing which may be too tight, too loose, too colorful or not colorful enough for a bas yisroel and ben torah.

* Assuring that all nightgowns and tichels are worn at all times and cover the targeted areas fully, according to Rabbi Falk's guidance.

*Checking to make sure no secular conversations or, challilah, kefirah is heard. Kefir is okay, but only if it is cholov yisroel.

Anyway, I think that an in-home personal mashgiach would do wonders for our community and would surely bring Moshiach b'meheira b'yomeinu.  Or at least Michael Jackson.

Hattip : Wolfman

Tags: rabbis, tznius

02:50 am: Mamzerim and On Ben Peles

So, when I used to ask the typical question about mamzerim (not fair, why should child be punished for the sins of the parent, etc.), I would most often get a response along the lines of "it's not a punishment, just a spiritual consequence, like a mother who is on crack giving birth to a less than functional child. It's not the child's fault, it's just an unfortunate consequence of the mother's selfish actions."  Here's a similar version for your review.

Then I would counter with how the laws of nature ( take crack- get addicted baby; drink booze- get fetal alcohol baby) are not comparable to spiritual concepts because spiritual laws are more easily suspendable. Whomever I was talking with at the time would typically deny this and insist that spiritual laws are just as rock solid as the law of gravity and so on. God's not going to change them just for your special circumstances. If a piano is about to fall on a passerby, fall it will, no matter how sorry he is about this sad fact. If a married woman conceives a child by another man, it is a bastard, no matter how sorry she is. End of story.

So bearing all that in mind, how do you explain On Ben Peles and his immodest wife?  

Look, she didn't want him to sin. I got that.
But she sat down in front of her house and removed her designer custom sheitel and pursed her lips seductively and was so immodest that no man would dare walk by. She revealed her "erva" to everyone! The kelippos were released from her hair and they flew into the atmosphere. By all accounts, if spiritual laws are not suspendable in the same way gravity laws are not suspendable, On Ben Peles should have died immediately from the tumah surrounding his home.

In current terms, it would be like me setting up a brothel in our front yard because I didn't want my husband going out with his Off The Derech friends.

And yet, On Ben Peles's wife saves her husband and is forever praised in divrei torah all around the world. She is the quintessential Jewish woman, the one who "built her house with wisdom." 

Okay, then. So let's pretend that Hashem miraculously suspends all the klippos and bad stuff and uncovering her erva only leads to good things forever and ever.  Because she had the best, most honorable intentions, she therefore can't be punished for her sin.

So why are the spiritual laws so inflexible for mamzerim again? Why can't they be suspended if the situation warrants it? Why are children punished for the behaviors of their parents?  See the contradiction?

When answering my question, please keep in mind that a product of a rape is also a mamzer, it's not just consensual affairs. 

 I recently read some sort of tragic shailah from the Holocaust in which a woman thought her husband was killed and the rav gave her permission to marry and she had children and many years later... yep, the first husband was not killed and yep, all the kids were mamzerim.

Tags: kabbalah fluff, mamzer, parshah, tznius, women

03:33 pm: Whose Fault Is It?

Say I am an average gentile woman. Maybe I'm a college student, maybe I'm a soccer mom or a physician. Anyway, I don't know anything about Jews and have no opinion of them one way or another.  For all I know, Jews are wonderful, friendly people who have contributed a lot to society. In high school, I had a Jewish boyfriend who celebrated Chanukah by having a Chanuka bush next to his Christmas tree.

One day, I'm bored at work so I'm surfing the internet and I come across False Messiah's post on how Daily Halacha would like Jews to wash their hands after touching a gentile because gentiles are all impure. This is a little unrealistic, the rabbis recognized and so, Jews are not actually required to wash hands after each and every handshake, but if they do so, they should do it surreptitiously so that enmity and ill-will is not increased between them and their gentile neighbors. Also, one lenient rabbinical opinion notes that there is probably no need to wash hands because tumah can only rest on something that has the potential for kedusha and since gentiles have no holiness in the first place, there's nothing to worry about. Yay!

Like I said, I'm just an average gentile lady and I don't know that this "halacha" is based on the Zohar and that non-chassidic Jews don't find the Zohar to be a reliable authority. In fact, I don't even know the difference between chassidic, non-chassidic and any other type of Jews and I've never heard of the Zohar before today.

So I walk away from this experience a little shaken up. Jews, it seems, are pretty bigoted and xenophobic, to say the least. They have really repugnant ideas about regular plain-vanilla folks like me, like my family. In fact, they don't seem all that different than Muslim extremists who hate infidels. Maybe consciously, maybe not, I gradually begin to generalize and stereotype about Jews and Judaism and eventually I end up espousing some pretty Anti-Semitic ideas.

So whose fault is this? Is it my own fault entirely for failing to educate myself thoroughly and adopting stereotypes?
Is it Failed Messiah's fault for bringing this Daily Halacha to us? Is it Daily Halacha's fault for not censoring themselves a bit?
All of the above? None of the above?
Or is it actually a good thing because freedom of speech is important and it's critical that Jews know "halacha" even if it might offend someone? Or is it all good because now gentiles will really know the truth of what some Jewish sects think of them?

Tags: gentiles, hashkafa, kabbalah fluff

07:38 pm: The Dilemma Continues...

Whom should I believe on the Rabbi Glanz  jail  scandal?  The Zionist-controlled evil and Anti-Semitic goyishe media outlets or The Yeshiva World News?

A difficult choice. Was this chaplain guilty of grossly exploiting his position for the dregs of society? Or was he a hero in the mitzvah of Pidyon Shevuim, stopped only by a heartless and cruel mosser?

Frankly, I didn't really care much about this crazy story until YWN published the ridiculous editorial in the above link. I don't particularly care if all the allegations are accurate of if some people are exaggerating a bit. There's always allegations of special treatment for one group or another and maybe the truth is somewhere in between.
 
What ticks me off is that according to YWN, somehow it is now the wicked informant's fault that the poor frum inmates will not have their special privileges and will have to remain with the rest of the population where " who knows, lo aleinu, awaits these prisoners." The chillul Hashem, oddly, was not caused by the criminal behaviors of the frum Jews and not by the immoral actions of the chassidic chaplain. This horrible situation was actually caused by the informant and "only death can be mechaper the chillul Hashem." 

Really now?



Tags: crazy, criminals, hypocrisy, rabbis

11:44 pm: Tricky God Strikes Again.

I was curious about light years recently. More specifically, if a star is hundreds of thousands of light years away and we see its light, how is the universe still 5769 years old? 

 So, I went on AskMoses and chatted with one of their scholars who told me that the stars were created with existing light and if they move or explode then that is the way God created them and it just appears to be exploding millions of years ago, but really it  was created 5769 years ago in that exact way.

It's late at night and I'm very dimwitted today and AskMoses has no patience for me, I think. So help me out here.

1. Did the star in the above scenario ever actually explode? When?

2. Did the star in the above scenario ever actually exist? When? Before it was created to look like it exploded or after?  

3. Do creationists not believe in light years? Speed of light?

4. Doesn't that mess up with physics in general, GPS systems and so on?

5. If you were God, wouldn't you just make the stars closer? Why go through the whole charade of creating illusionary stars that appear to have existed and exploded millions of years ago if the world is less than six thousand years old?

Tags: astronomy, chabad, creation

06:15 pm: The Year of Living Biblically

Here's the book review part: This book is great. Funny, sad, clever, all you could ask for in a book about religion.

Here's the discussion part: The author, like me, does not understand why the Torah speaks in code. For example, he finds a halacha (Devarim 25:11-12) in which a woman who protects her husband from a beating (by grabbing the assailant by his balls) is punished by having her hand chopped off. He finds out that this is not meant to be taken literally and is just a rule against embarrassing people and the wife's hand is not actually chopped off, she just has to pay a fine. So the author is perplexed. Why does the Torah speak in code and couldn't have just said Rule #387: Don't embarrass people ? He searches and searches and the best he gets is an answer from Aish, from Noah Weinberg. Ready? Here's the answer: Life is a jigsaw puzzle. The joy and the challenge of life -and the Bible- is figuring things out. if a jigsaw puzzle came numbered, you'd return it to the store. 

Agh. Rabbi Weinberg.  
How many things are wrong with this argument? Let us count.

1. Is the Torah a jigsaw puzzle or an instruction manual? Let's get the analogies straight.  

If you are postulating that a Being created the world with a goal in mind and provided the world with an instruction manual as to how to achieve that goal, it is counterintuitive to accept that the Being is going to write the manual in code, which you are not going to understand without additional supplements. An instruction manual is written clearly and simply, so that an average person can understand and follow the directions. It is not written in code. In contrast, a jigsaw puzzle is for play, a hobby. It is not something to base your life on. People do not live their lives by jigsaw puzzles.

2. Writing that the woman gets her hand chopped off directly contradicts the assertion that she just has to pay a fine. If I bought a jigsaw puzzle where the numbers were opposite from what they were supposed to be to complete the puzzle, I would, um, return the puzzle and file a complaint.

3. There are so many things spelled out in great detail in the Chumash. Things that were relevant for only a tiny portion of Jewish history, such as rules about korbanos and tumah/tahara. Things that were never relevant to begin with, such as Eisav's genealogy or that each leader of each tribe brought the same exact offering for the mishkan. Why waste so much space on this and somehow miss out on writing important rules that everyone could potentially use?

4. Why does it seem again that everywhere I look,  the Frum God is trying to trick me? I look to scientists and they tell me the world is billions of year old and the dinosaurs died out ages ago, but this is a trick because the world is not even 6,000 years old and there never were any dinosaurs, Hashem just planted the bones in the ground to confuse the scientists. I look to chumash devarim where every other pasuk lists another death penalty crime, but that's also a trick, the sanhedrin very rarely condemned anyone to death because the laws regarding witnesses and evidence were so strict. Moreover, some of these crimes were just theoretical and there was never any case of a rebellious son for example. Now again. The chumash says her hand will be cut off, but really it just means she has to pay a fine.

Why should I assume God means anything that He says? He couldn't manage to dictate his word accurately, why shouldn't I believe all of halacha is just a game of broken telephone?

Thanks for playing Rabbi Weinberg. Please come again.

P.S. What is with this weird halacha? Ladies, if your husband/son is in a physical fight with someone, say an intruder, you wouldn't grab the assailant by whatever necessary? Is it better if I just shoot him?

Tags: book review, hashkafa, parshah

03:10 am: Just a Bit Ironic

The honorable judge Sylvia O. Hinds-Radix ordering the hearing on the Crown Heights Community Council Elections is  female.

Females are not allowed to vote in these elections. Even though the 19th amendment was ratified almost  90 years ago.

More on this here.

Tags: chabad, crown heights, women

09:31 pm: Say It Aint So. Again.

Oh, no. Rabbi Manis Friedman forgot to take his meds again.

What on earth possessed you to write in to this magazine, Rabbi? Why did you not have someone check what you wrote before you sent it off? Did you actually write this? Tell me someone forged your signature to make you look bad. Please. Or do you really believe this? Do you really think we should kill women and children and innocent civilians? Following the Old Testament will bring peace to the Middle East?

How Should Jews Treat Their Arab Neighbors?

Chabad
I don’t believe in western morality, i.e. don’t kill civilians or children, don’t destroy holy sites, don’t fight during holiday seasons, don’t bomb cemeteries, don’t shoot until they shoot first because it is immoral.

The only way to fight a moral war is the Jewish way: Destroy their holy sites. Kill men, women and children (and cattle).The first Israeli prime minister who declares that he will follow the Old Testament will finally bring peace to the Middle East.

First, the Arabs will stop using children as shields. Second, they will stop taking hostages knowing that we will not be intimidated. Third, with their holy sites destroyed, they will stop believing that G-d is on their side. Result: no civilian casualties, no children in the line of fire, no false sense of righteousness, in fact, no war.

Zero tolerance for stone throwing, for rockets, for kidnapping will mean that the state has achieved sovereignty. Living by Torah values will make us a light unto the nations who suffer defeat because of a disastrous morality of human invention.
Rabbi Manis Friedman
Bais Chana Institute of Jewish Studies
St. Paul, MN

Hattip: FM

ETA : The backpedaling begins.

Tags: manis friedman

12:18 am: Attention All Provocative Ladies !

Listen up Provocative Ladies of Iran, Saudia Arabia, Afghanistan and Lakewood, NJ !

We don't want to see your knees anymore. Not even if we are looking up your skirt from the back.

If you continue to dress in such a depraved manner, we will be forced to express our lust by giving notes to your children about the way you dress. You should thank us for helping you see the error of your ways.

Love Always,

The Men of Iran, Saudia Arabia, Afghanistan and Lakewood, NJ.

P.S.  Here are some more of our thoughtful and sincere comments :

( Read More )




Tags: sad and funny at the same time, tznius, women

11:14 pm: Senseless Revenge & Attaining Maturity

I used to post more about theological questions, somehow all these social issues get in the way:)

Anyway, the Dinah story is pretty bad. We sort of skimmed it in school, but from what I understand, Dinah is kidnapped and raped by Shechem, a prince of a town by the same name. The prince decides he likes her and proposes to marry her and join clans with Yaakov's tribe. Shimon and Levi pretend to agree on the condition that all the males undergo circumcision. Following the mass circumcision, Shimon and Levi kill off all the men of the town and take their sister back.

Okay, whatever, I understand that in those days killing a whole town in revenge for a rape was par for the course. That's not really my problem. My problem is that the age of a bar-mitzvah is determined by this story because apparently the text calls Levi a man and according to some other calculations or something, he turned thirteen that day. So what kind of ridiculous story is this to exemplify maturity? What, there are a shortage of heroic deeds in the chumash, that this one is the one chosen?

Chabad tries to answer here, but the explanation is weak. Basically, since the act was sincere and passionate and "deeper than reason," therefore it signifies maturity. Huh? Anyone get this? Children are classic examples of beings who act sincerely and passionately and completely without reason, without thinking through the ethics or the consequences of their actions. How is this supposed to be indicative of an adult demeanor? 

It's almost like a joke. Well, Mrs. Imeinu, we have good news and we have bad news. The bad news is that your sons are murderers and killed a whole city in a senseless, violent act of rage that makes the Columbine school shootings  look like a peace rally. The good news? Well, the good news is that they passed the Jewish initiation ceremony and are now full-fledged adults.   Congratulations! Mazel Tov!

Tags: chabad, parshah

09:16 am: Choose a Toevah, any Toevah.

It seems some people are pretty agitated about the Same-Sex Marriage  Toevah Bill recently passed in New York.

Here's what bothers me. We seem to have the Gay Toevah situation pretty much covered. But why, oh why, are our Gedolim neglecting the battle against the other Toevahs in society? The numerous toevot mentioned in chumash devarim are, by and large, ignored.  Who will raise his sword and fight with me against the other Abominations that the Lord hates? Mi LaHashem Elai!  

Who will protest against  the horrors of :

1. Women who wear pants! ( Devarim 22:5)  Do not underestimate this problem! Men who wear kilts and women who wear pants are an Abomination to the Lord and we must petition Congress for an Amendment prohibiting this evil behavior. Women who wear pants are a  threat to our way of life! They  devalue the sanctity of Skirts! And Dresses! Do you want your children reading government-funded textbooks with pictures of women wearing pants? Such immorality simply cannot be tolerated!

2. Idolatry! (Devarim 17: 4)   Paganism is a threat to our way of life! We need legislation to protect us from the Hindus and Buddists in our midst! Do you want Pagans to have the right to worship as they see fit, just like you do? Idolatry causes  tsunamis and  earhquakes and spoiled milk! You don't want our children to have to drink spoiled milk, do you? Do your part!

3. Psychics! (Devarim 18:10)  Psychics are an Abomination to the Lord! These people are all over the place, the streets teem with their disgusting "shops." They even have hotlines! Imagine that! An average, law-abiding citizen can reach a psychic just by calling a number from his home phone! Do you want your husband to be dialing those numbers? Children read corrupt books about Harry Potter and his sorcerer friends!  Do you want your children to be exposed to this filth? Do you want psychics to have the same workplace benefits as you do? It is a holy obligation for each person to do what he or she can to rid the world of psychics!

4. Remarrying the Same Person! (Devarim 24:4) If a couple is divorced, R"L, and then the woman is defiled by another man and then wishes to marry her first husband once more, that is an Abomination to the Lord and Jerry Springer!  Remarriage after sleeping with someone else brings evil diseases into our midst and decreases respect for the sanctity of being stuck to one person for the rest of your life! All God-fearing persons must immediately call their representatives and petition for an end to this promiscuity!

5. Financial Scams! (Devarim 25:14-16) Unethical financial practices are, uh... well, what can I say here. Lemme see...  immoral business practices are... uh, sorta, uh... Cheating your customers is... it's just Goyish. Yeah, that's it!  It's goyish behavior and also by the way, an Abomination to the Lord.  You don't want your children to be goyish, do you?   


Seriously, people. What's up with the singular focus on gay sex? Don't you have other things to worry about?

Tags: gay people

09:44 am: Women's Empowerment, Part Two
In my previous post, mindycl wrote:

I'm just a little surprised that you even think women are empowered in judaism. we're second class citizens. were totally not empowered. Its not something I mind, I'm not a feminist. But your very premise puzzles me...I guess because I was raised in this man-centric culture and we women are taught to never be seen, never be heard, stay in the kitchen yada yada yada and I'm so used to it, that if I were to explore it and become resentful i'd be in a terrible place in my community, be looked down upon by dh and parents etc - it's usually the start of a rebellion which leads to going OTCD. It's just not something I thinkn about. This is how I was raised, I'm cool with it, and it's totally fine. I'm so not a feminist. I'm content with staying in the kitchen...
 
I want to talk about her post. It threw me for a loop because I'm so used to people insisting Judaism treats women equally. I think Mindy is a kind, sincere person who is doing everyone a favor by being honest about her culture. So, in constrast to my usual policy, I will have to delete insulting comments about her and her derech. But I want to discuss what she wrote. So here are the questions I'm interested in, please feel free to respond or add:

1. Do you think this view of women is limited just to that particular branch of Orthodoxy? Mindy belongs to a non-chabad chassidic group, maybe Satmar, I'm not sure. Do you think only her group sees women as second-class citizens? Or do you think this is actually a perspective held by most Orthodox adherents and some of them hide it better than others? Or do you think that Judaism is changing, but some groups specifically choose to hold on to the social norms of  the pre-feminist days? How does halacha figure into this? How are halachos which reflect negatively on women's roles adhered to or minimized or changed?

2. Do you think God could condone a hierarchial system like this? In other words, if there is a God and He created the world, do you think that He could have set up a system in which women are meant to be subservient? Or does God create all people as equals and  this is a man-made invention, something men of all religions did for their own self-serving interests? How do you see the curses in Bereishis, if you believe the text is Divine or Divinely-inspired? Is it just that God was describing how the world would be and that men would dominate women, but that can change with time or is an inherent, immutable part of the overall cosmic plan? How is this different than the hierarchy with regards to cohanim and leviim, which clearly seems to be endorsed by Judaism?

3. Do you think women can be truly happy and fulfilled in this sort of system? Do you think that most adherents of a group who are considered second-class citizens are just socially conditioned to adhere to the rules, not to rock the boat? Or do you think people can find real satisfaction from that kind of life? What about Untouchables in the Hindu caste system?

I personally think that the basic premises of Judaism is that women are second class citizens, because this was the social norm way back when halacha was codified. Most sects still follow that mode today, although some groups, like chabad, are very inventive in the explanations and rationales that they come up with. Some sections of Modern Orthodoxy openly reject some of these premises and have women's minyanim and so on, but they are considered fringe, a bit on the conservative side of things. I think God created people equal and all the hierarchies are man-made. But I think that people can convince themselves that God allows for these hierarchies because their social norms support that. So, in other words, if you have grown up in a culture which treats women as subservient and second-class, it's not difficult to believe that God set it up this way. What do you think?



Tags: hashkafa, women

09:21 pm: Empowered Women
Ask any frum woman, especially a chabad one, and she will tell you that a woman is everything. The home is where the heart is, the home is the center of Jewish life, the women establish the community.

Here's an interesting halacha story. In our new community, all of the shuls bring shabbos in early in the summer, at 7.  Sometimes this is difficult for us, my husband works all day and I'm in school, it's a little tight to say the least. But apparently, if your community brings in shabbos at 7, that's when shabbos starts for you and there are no exceptions. So a non-shabbos activity is just as forbidden at 7:01 as it would be the next morning.

This was somewhat inconvenient for us last year,  so this year when a small group of men decided to start a minyan later, at 8, my husband offered to participate. The first week they did not have enough men, so shabbos started at 7, as usual. The next week, they had 12 men and shabbos started at 8.

So how does this work? Whether I am allowed to turn the light off at 7:15  depends on whether Shmeryl Beryl decided to join the minyan finally? How do women establish a community again? If I were to find ten women, married or single, who wanted to start shabbos at 8 or 9, it would make no difference, shabbos would start at 7. But when Shmeryl finally gets around to letting the shul know he'll be happy to participate, ah, suddenly shabbos starts an hour later for me. When do I get to tell Shmeryl what time shabbos starts?

Tags: shabbos, women

02:32 pm: Good News Alert: The Golden Rule Applies Only to People With Whom You Agree.

In this thread, I take offense to the idea that all Reform and Conservative groups are comprised of selfish and superficial Jews who wouldn't know self-sacrifice if it hit them in the head. In response, I get called a crank, scoffer and a ho. Yep. Check it out before the thread disappears. 

And it is precisely because of the Shoah that we owe goyim nothing except to make sure they leave us alone (and keep the 7 Mitzvos Bnei Noiach which include leaving us alone). Rare is the goy who says a word when a Jew bleeds. Most secretly rejoice. When every Jew is fed and has proper medical care, then we can worry about tribesmen who slash each other up and who would slash us up for a fiver given half a chance. Nevertheless, plenty of shluchim help goyim, if only by providing them with employment at wages far above the average in remote locations. But most do far more, and many is the goy who pretends he is a Jew to get assistance, and is rarely questioned because the shluchim would rather err than let one Jew fall into hunger .  From here.

So the liberal self-hating Jew has spoken again! I think a good dose of Chassidus can clean up some of the poison I see here.
mcp is a scoffer who only shows how grub she is every time she vomits out another silly post. Here.


How many times have we heard chabad spout  PC lines such as "there is no such thing as a reform or conservative Jew, just a Jew" and that labels are for cans, not Jews?  Well, yeah. That's what they tell the secular world when they are trying to mekarev them. But in private, when they think no one is watching, many Lubavitchers will sing a different song. Lest you think that this thread is an abberration or full of  random crazy people, note that many, many Orthodox people allow speaking loshon hora against reform and conservative movements in the guise of " we must eradicate the evil from our midst." Basically, the way it works is that in some segments of the frum world,  Ahavat Yisroel applies pretty much to those people you agree with and are friends with anyway. It most certainly doesn't apply to anyone whose ideas you don't agree with and can label as dangerous or subversive.

For the record, there were people on that thread who defended me by posting that I am not, in fact, a ho or that such terminology is inappropriate for a chabad site.  Oddly, though, there weren't many posts noting that painting all non-orthodox Jews as selfish, poisoned and "deformed" is inappropriate for a chabad site because Judaism/Torah/Hashem/ Rebbe wouldn't have wanted  anyone to speak like that about others. Why is that?

Tags: chabad, conservative, why the messiah is not even close

10:33 pm: Do Your Part!

Here's a list of the tznius hachlatos that have been taken on by women who are hoping that the yeshiva boys in Japan will be released or given a light sentence. I am happy to say I am doing my part; the items in bold are ones I will plan to be extra-careful about.

Since we have started this Tznius campaign we have seen incredible siyata dishmaya in easing the plight of the prisoners somewhat. Let the merit of your kabalah give rise to the ultimate release of our children, and may the collective zechus of Tznius improvement,
result in the geulah shleima for all of Klal Yisroel, amen.

♦ Sheitel is refined [within parameters of halacha] and does not attract
attention.
♦ Refrain from wearing excessive make-up and perfume in
any public areas.
♦ Refrain from wearing attractive or excessive jewelry in
any public areas
♦ Refrain from brisk-walking as a form of exercise.
♦ Refrain from eating/drinking in public areas, especially
where men are present.
♦ Skirt is at least four inches past the knee.
♦ Neckline properly adjusted in all clothing.
♦ Turban/tichel covering all hair at all times during the day.
♦ Secular newspapers and all fashion magazines kept out of
the house.
♦ When in public, [street, stores, buses, waiting rooms,] Cell phones
vibrate silently and phone conversations are kept short and
quiet [out of earshot of bystanders]
♦ Shoes/heels/ fitted with a rubber sole.
♦ Exercising discreet and low-key behavior in a shared sitting area.
[apartment building lobby, doctor’s office, chasuna hall, shul mechitzah, bus stops, standing in line at
checkout counters etc.
♦ Learning Hilchos Tznius daily. [Inspire by Wire – 718-906-6451, or ' עוז והדר לבושה ' according to the daily
calendar provided free of charge by: Bnos Melochim 845-425-9222]
♦ Refrain from brisk-walking in a public area.
Your undertaking will provide us with the strength and stamina we so desperately need at this time.
We cannot adequately express our appreciation to all who are accepting upon themselves to enhance
their current Tznius standards so that our children can have hope to see the light of freedom again.

I'm quite good about not brisk-walking in public. Everything else, not so much I guess. How about you? Which tznius resolutions are you taking upon yourself? Will you keep all secular newspaper and fashion magazines out of your home? Or will you make sure all your conversations in public are short and quiet? Maybe not eat/drink in public areas when men are present? I especially like that one.

Tags: collive, crazy, tznius

09:01 pm: Some Monkeys are Frum.

This post is for those of us who still think that there can be no true morality without religion.

In one classic experiment, a chain in the cage of a rhesus monkey did double duty: it brought food to the monkey who pulled it, but delivered an electric shock to a second monkey. After observing the effect of pulling the chain on their companions, one monkey stopped pulling the chain for five days and one stopped for 12 days, primatologist Frans de Waal recounts in his 2006 book, "Primates and Philosophers: How Morality Evolved." The monkeys "were literally starving themselves to avoid inflicting pain on another," he writes.

More from here.

I know, I know what you are going to say. Maybe those monkeys were monotheistic.  Actually, if you really think about it, they must have been Jewish monkeys because the Tanya teaches us that only Jews can be truly altruistic. Maybe this experiment was done with the special subgroup of rhesus monkeys known as the ShomerShabbatus species.
 

Tags: morality

09:14 pm: If You Don't Like Sacrilege, You Won't Like This Post

You know how sometimes Gemara gets a little boring? Like, you're sitting in gemara class and it's all 20 cubic feet this and 15 cubic feet that and your mind wanders to other, more mundane matters?

So I think that this happens to people in the gemara too. The rabbis in the gemara were probably so bored being in the Gemara. I mean, in the beginning, it is probably exciting. Woo-hoo! Look, I'm in the gemara! Check it out, Ma! But after a while, it gets tedious. Twenty amahs here and 15 amahs there. Eventually, an interlude is needed.

Rebbi Yochanan stated that the "Ever" of Rebbi Yishmael bar'Rebbi Yosi was like a flask the size of nine Kavim. Rav Papa stated that the "Ever" of Rebbi Yochanan was like a flask the size of five Kavim (or, according to others, three Kavim). The Gemara continues and says that the "Ever" of Rav Papa himself was like a Harpanian basket...The Gemara relates that Rebbi Yochanan used to sit next to the Mikvah so that the women would see his beauty when they came out and would have children as beautiful and as learned in Torah as he. The Rabanan asked him, "Are you not afraid of the 'evil eye'?" Rebbi Yochanan answered that he is descended from Yosef, over whom the "evil eye" had no power. From here.

By the way, I just want to see that last one. I want to come out of the mikvah and instead of the mikvah lady, I want to see Rabbi Yochanan explaining to me that the reason he sits in the mikvah is so all the women should bear children with his likeness.

Channeling Frum Satire.

Tags: gemara

09:47 am: Inspiring Medusa Tale
 I hope this story inspires you to greater heights in modesty. From here.


In a town lived a woman that was married but did not cover her hair. The Rav of the town rebuked her a few times but she paid no heed, saying "I was given beautiful curly hair and unwilling to cover it". When she passed away, the Chevre Kaddishe placed her body in the ground but one of them accidentally dropped his wallet inside. Inside the wallet was money and important papers. That evening, when he noticed his wallet was missing, he remembered that while bending down to bury the woman, the wallet fell inside the grave. He went to the Rav of the town, HaRav HaGaon Aryeh de-ve Ilai, zs'l, to receive permission to reopen the grave. The Rav answered that in this case he gives permission but on one condition; that all the town residents and the bet din must be present. The following morning, all the town's Jews gathered at the grave and were witnesses to this unique happening. The Rav and the bet din also arrived and the grand Rav gave the permission to open the grave and the missing wallet was found right away. Suddenly, weird noises were heard coming from the burial ground. Inside the hole of the burial they saw the scariest view ever seen before: The hairs of the dead woman were torn off and stuffed inside her mouth so that her mouth was completely blocked. Her skull was bald, covered by thousands of worms and set in a way the woman used to set her hair when she was alive. The town's Rav seeing this revealed miracle, woke up the residents to do Teshuva and said: This incident is directly from HaShem. It is no coincidence that the wallet fell inside the burial of the immodest woman. HaShem is showing us how severe it is for a woman to reveal her hair and use it as a weapon for beauty. The whole town was greatly influenced to see the judgment of this woman and how the judgment is measure for measure.



Tags: tznius

02:03 pm: Good News, Bad News
So the good news is that The Neshei Newsletter printed a scathing letter to the editor in response to the rant against gentile babysitters. Dr. Levenstein from South Africa basically called the author of the letter a racist and compared the writing to Nazi bigotry.

The bad news is that Dr. Levenstein probably never read the Tanya  or other chassidic texts which encourage such bigotry and that the next Newsletter will contain many letters advising him to learn up on the fact that the souls of the nations of the world, however, emanate from the other, unclean kelipot which contain no good whatever,  and this is the foundation of chassidus.

On a similar note, during the sedarim, I peeked in the back of the chabad haggadah, which has many brief little divrei torah. One commentary on page 87 reads as follows : the behavior of the child and the environment around him must not be like that of the non-Jewish environment. One must be ble to recognize in the child an absolute Jewish identity and if the child does not sense the principles of "who separates between Israel and the nations" and "You have chosen us from among all the nations," then even when he will have set times for the study of Torah, when he will pray and observe mitzvot and so forth, those mitzvot and that Torah will be bereft of the proper holiness.

Think about that for a minute. Even if you are doing everything right, observing and praying and so on, if you are not aware of your separate, chosen, special status, your prayers and study are of a lower value. There's a very fine line at which national pride becomes bigotry and hatred and this is precisely where the line is. If you cannot fulfill your role as a religious person without the constant awareness of your superior status, you have turned from someone with cultural pride into a bigot. Most Lubavitchers have crossed this line a long time ago. Those who have not are typically college-campus rabbis who know how to keep a good PC face on.

Tzvi Freeman, one of the more PC chabad spokespeople, writes that quite simply, what the tzadik is to the Jew, the Jew is to the non-Jew.

Many people have explained that this is an effective strategy to ward off assimilation.
Sure, believing that goyim are scum will minimize intermarriage. At what cost, though? Do you want your children to avoid intermarriage at the risk of growing up bigoted? Is preserving the Orthodox traditions that important to you that you will risk your child actually growing up to believe in his or her own innate superiority and that everyone who is not Jewish is just a lower life-form? Is it worth it?

Tags: chabad, gentiles, neshei

03:23 am: Dear God,
Dear God,

It's me, Onionsoupmix.

I just wanted to give You some constructive advice for next time. I know You're into making these worlds and planting little people on them and then playing with them and stuff. I guess this is what amuses Deities. Whatever, not my place. Anyway, I'm sure lots of people have really important advice for You, about hunger, poverty, wars, crap like that.

Not me. I just wanted to throw in my two cents about the whole NO LAUNDRY thing. Jewish women are not supposed to do laundry over chol hamoed and also never, ever, ever on rosh chodesh.  This is supposed to be a break or something, a reward. Well, I'm sure You had the best intentions. But You know, like they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It turns out that this is a huge pain for many, many people. They have to struggle to do all of it beforehand and then guess who has the fun job of washing 10 loads the day after yom tov or rosh chodesh? That's right, the women. Basically, I just wanted to emphasize that the No Free Lunch rule is still in effect- if we can't do laundry today, we will have to work extra the next day and it's not a break, it's just a pain in our collective asses. Which get bigger with every holiday and may likely cause a solar eclipse in eh.. about  28 years. Wouldn't want that, would we?  So try to get this glitch in Your Operating System worked out by the time the next version of World 2.0 or Religion 4.7 comes out and maybe You'll expand Your customer base which will make the sales department folks happy. You're a creative guy, I'm sure You'll think of something.

Like maybe for Rosh Chodesh, tweak things a bit and write the law in such a way that the laundry has to get done, but by men. There's a novel idea. Men can do the laundry. Or maybe just figure out how to make those flying piggies we've all been waiting for.

Fondly,
OSM

P.S.- Come to think of it, I would rework the whole 2-3 day Yom Tov part altogether. Maybe break it up a bit more or add a heter for each holiday or something. Like Succos, you can eat at any treife restaraunt you want.  Rosh Hashana- you can go to the beach instead of Tashlich. Have Your people call my people and we'll do lunch.

Tags: pesach