onionsoupmix

11:32 am: Don't Worry About That Silly Ten Commandments Thing. Really.

So my last two posts focused on the Rambam and whether Torah morality is eternal. The vast majority of my commenters here clearly thought the rambam's principles applied to his day and time and do not apply to ours and should not be taken out of context. The consensus was that those chapters are essentially...irrelevant to modern society.

Now we have Rav Yitzchak Shapira and Toras HaMelech, a  recently-published sefer in which this Rosh Yeshiva explains that Jews are actually allowed to murder gentiles, even Chassidei Umos HaOlam, even women and children, even if they are not responsible for a threat to the Jewish people. From here.  

YWN, of course, tells us that this is all exaggrerated and silly nonsense, the book is a work of  theoretical halacha and should not be used as permission to take the law into one's own hands. Good to know.

So here are the questions for today.

1. Do you think this guy is just a crazy extremist whom we should just write off? It shouldn't matter that he's a Rosh Yeshiva of a big chabad school? We should just hide our head in the sand and pretend only Islam has problems with crazy extremists? Should we also dismiss Rav Yitzchak Ginsburg, another famous chabad rabbi associated with this whole lunacy, who goes on world-wide speaking tours?

2. Do you think these books & pamphlets are a cause of actual crimes against gentiles? If not, why not? Why should inciteful material somehow have no bearing on behavior? If they are a cause of actual crimes, how are these sefarim different than the Rambam's works? So why should we all learn Daily Rambam and his halachos of rape and murder, but we should not learn Toras Hamelech?

3. Why did Rabbi Shapira choose to give us frum yidden a heter for murder, instead of say, something more practical, like a heter for  cheeseburgers? Maybe he can write a sequel about how yidden can eat treife food on shabbos for the purpose of protecting the Holy Land or something like that. I would buy that book. Heck, I'll help him write it.

Tags: chabad, crazy, criminals, gentiles, rabbis

12:24 am: You thought it couldn't get any worse...

After reading these three  Naarah Besulah chapters, it is very clear that rape was completely a civil matter back in the days of the Rambam and the only thing wrong was that the girl's virginity value was decreased. The punishment, therefore, for rape was a set of fines, payable to the girl's dad, of course, and forced marriage to the victim, if she and her father consent.

The possible fines included one for payment for virginal sex, one for embarrassment, one for damages and one for pain. 

  You can read these chapters yourself (1, 2, 3) , but here are some highlights:

• A rapist was not obligated to pay any fines unless there were witnesses to the act. Even his own admission does not render him liable.
• A rapist was not obligated to pay the virginal sex fine for anal rape.
• A rapist was not obligated to pay the virginal sex fine for any female over 12.5 or under 3.
• Embarrassment damages were not uniform. They were calculated according to the family's status. A poor, girl from a simple family was given less than a girl from "known lineage."
• Damages were given according to the girl's beauty, as assessed by the difference in her virginal and non-virginal value on a slave market.
• A man who rapes a mentally retarded girl or one who is deaf-mute, does not pay any of these fines for embarrasment or damages or virginal sex. All he pays is a fine for pain. If he will swear that she consented ( yes, the mentally retarded 3-to-12 year old), he can skip the pain fee also and is called a seducer and not a rapist, and has NO CONSEQUENCES at all.
• If the girl has a bad reputation or was pimped out by her father, the rapist also incurs no fines.

So. If you're still reading, here are my two questions.

1. If  I am a frum Jew living in 2009 and I know that this is the Jewish attitude towards rape, why on earth would I report a rapist or child molester to secular authorities ? Why would I do that when this is clearly seen as a financial issue, not a criminal one?

2. Why does chabad.org keep translating these rambams and posting them online? Shouldn't somebody give them a kick in the pants? Shouldn't they at least come up with a touchy-feely kabbalah-fluff explanation and post it online too?


I wonder if the women who author articles like this one for chabad.org know about these laws. The incongruence is too much.

Tags: halacha, rabbis, women

01:23 pm: Did the Jews Kill Jesus?

Did the Jews kill Jesus? The Gospels say yes. We say no.

Uh... who cares? 

According to the Rambam, it would have been a mitzvah if we had. 

It is a mitzvah, however, to eradicate Jewish traitors, minnim, and apikorsim, and to cause them to descend to the pit of destruction, since they cause difficulty to the Jews and sway the people away from God, {as did Jesus of Nazareth and his students, and Tzadok, Baithos, and their students. May the name of the wicked rot.} From Here. 

That whole section is great, btw. We're not allowed to save idolaters from drowning, regardless of whether it is shabbos or not. We can't offer them medicine or even rent them homes. You can't even speak about them in a kind manner or give them gifts. 

Well, okay, see, since we live in America, and are subject to secular rule and would probably get in trouble, we don't actually have to follow all this right now.

But that's part of the evil of living in Galus- we're forced to be moral and ethical, to some extent.  Hopefully Moshiach will come soon and I can start killing pagans and heretics right and left. 
 
Seriously, frum people.

How can you ever accept anything the rambam says as valid after that page of gibberish?

How can you ever accept the Torah as the true compass of morality after reading that page? 

What, exactly, is the big deal about being an idol worshipper, that you deserve death for it? How does idolatry render your life worthless more so than, say, atheism?

Why should we not kill a convicted child rapist, for example, but oh boy, once he starts praying to Zeus, off with his head. What sense does that make?

Tags: crazy, gentiles, morality

11:41 am: Is Halacha for Crazy People?

In a very sad event last week, a young daughter of a shliach in Israel was tragically killed in a school-bus accident. The whole story was horrible.

At the shiva, the little girl's grandmother, the famous Miriam Swerdlov, spoke about taking the good with the bad and mi k'amcha yisrael and so on. She also sang a song with the women at the shiva, one of the tunes that reflected the idea of the Jewish people never forsaking Hashem no matter what evils befall them.

Her speech was recorded. The blog that posted the video on youtube initially deleted the singing segment. Later it posted the full version and warned that it contains KOL ISHA and is intended FOR WOMEN ONLY PLEASE.

Kol Isha is a halacha in which men are not allowed to hear women singing so that they should not get aroused and come to sin.

Okay, now I acknowledge that it is possible that there is a man out there who could be aroused by a 60 year old woman singing a niggun with a bunch of other women at her three-year-old granddaugher's shiva. Anything is possible.

But if halacha is going to cater to that, if halacha is going to take those people into account, why doesn't it consider the man who is turned on by the very sight of any woman in the first place? Why doesn't it take into account the man who might be aroused at the sound of male singing? Surely there are more men aroused by male singing or even conversation, say in shul,  than would be aroused by Miriam Swerdlov humming a tune at a shiva house. No?

I know, I know. Some people are going to start talking about boundaries and slippery slopes and how halacha has to have fixed parameters. Because if we allow men to hear this, then maybe we should let men hear women singing at a farbrengen or at shul. And from there, I guess,  it is a quick and direct path to permitting all female rock bands and wet t-shirt contests and mud wrestling.

Really, though? Is that answer enough for you? Is the slope really that slippery? Halacha doesn't have any mechanisms to permit some forms of kol isha but not others? I doubt that. So what's the deal here? How difficult would it really be for rabbonim to matir women's singing if it is in a religious context?
 

 

Tags: halacha, rabbis, tznius, women

05:23 am: Retiring Mesirah

The prohibition of mesirah is well known among religious Jews. The severity of this issur becomes ever so clear when we read in Shulchan Aruch that a mosser is dino ke’akum with respect to writing a sefer Torah (Yoreh Deah 281:3) and with respect to shechitah ( Remah ibid 2:9). Even if the mosser is otherwise an observant individual, and is meticulous in fulfilling his religious duties, because he demonstrates his rejection of the unity of all of Klal Yisroel (by his act of mesirah), he is treated as an akum (see Rambam, Hilchos Teshuva 3:11 and Nefesh Horav pg. 235).

If, however, one is guilty of a crime, and according to the law of the land deserves a prison sentence, or will be put to death, even though according to Jewish law his punishment would not be as severe, this is not mesirah (see Ritva to Bava Metsia 83b; Dvar Avraham vol. I pg. 8). One would still not be allowed to hand this individual over to the civil authorities because this is the equivalent of returning aveidas akum, which is usually not allowed. In an instance of avoiding a chilul Hashem, just like we would be obligated to return the aveidas akum, so too we would be obligated to hand over this individual (see Rama, Choshen Mishpat 388:12).

From here. 

The Hebrew word is mesira, which means basically you are not allowed to be an informant," said Rabbi Shea Hecht, a well-known figure in Crown Heights.
"In essence, I am not allowed to snitch, period."  From here.


As society changes, halacha has also evolved. Many rules designed for a different era are essentially defunct, through loopholes or the like. For example, it used to be forbidden to drink wine with a gentile or to break bread with him. Now it's basically fine, as long as you drink mevushal wine and eat in a kosher establishment. It used to be forbidden to drink milk supervised by a gentile because we were afraid that milk from treife animals may be added in.  Now, in many countries, there are laws in place to prevent dairy manufacturers from adding anything extra into the product and cholov yisroel is a chumra.

The halacha of mesira also needs to be retired, in the same way as the rules mentioned above.
 
The laws of mesira were designed to prevent tyrannical and anti-semitic governments from harming innocent Jews.They were not designed to allow Jewish criminals to avoid punishment. Regardless of whether chillul hashem is involved or not, Jewish criminals only harm our communities and should be subjected to the justice system, just like anyone else.

Think about it. Do you really think that God wants Jews to be able to get away with crimes that everyone else would receive prison sentences for? Do you really think God expects botei dinim all over the world to handle the appropriate consequences for criminal activities in the frum world? Do you think cherem (excommunication) for a money launderer or a child molestor or a wife beater is enough?

I read these questions on imamother a lot. This and this happened to my child and I don't know what to do. The answer is always to call your local orthodox rabbi before speaking to secular authorities.

In most places, Jews do not live in countries with anti-semitic and tyrannical leadership. Jews have no less of a chance at a fair shake in the justice system than anybody else and there's really NO REASON TO CALL YOUR RAV when faced with a crime possibly committed by a frum person.

Just call the cops.

Mesirah is outdated and harms our community more than it benefits us.

 

Tags: criminals, hashkafa, rabbis

08:23 pm: Don't Worry. Be Happy.
 There are so many elements of Judaism that are designed to make us happier people. All of davening is supposed to teach us gratitude and bitachon.  Every bracha is supposed to teach appreciation for what we have. So many holidays are dedicated to remembering the good things that God has done for us and continues to do for us. There is even a specific exortation to be happy- Mitzvah Gedolah L'hiot BeSimcha Tamid. Chassidim, in general, place a greater emphasis on the importance of happiness in religion than other groups.

And yet, I don't think the rates of depression or  anxiety (or even subclinical dissatisfaction) in frum and chassidic communities are lower than those rates in the rest of the population. Why is that?

One option is that the frum Jewish lifestyle is considerably more difficult and more stressful than that of the rest of society. Tuition, lack of heteirim for birth control,  limited secular education, poverty, high cost of kosher food- these all stress us out. So davening and brachos helps but not enough and without those supports, frum people would be even more depressed. Do you think that's true? That frum people have a harder life than everyone else and that explains this discrepancy?

Another option is that davening and brachos and all of this just don't work. Do they not work because frum people don't do these things correctly- they don't have enough kavanah, they mumble their brachos, they don't learn chassidus before davening, they don't think about the meaning behind yomim tovim? Or is it because davening just doesn't work, period?  It's not yoga enough?

Is it because anxiety and depression are clinical disorders and prayer isn't going to help, much like praying isn't going to cure your cold? Is it because people tend to have set personalities and religious observance isn't going to change that personality trait much one way or the other?

Or am I totally wrong and frum people ARE actually more cheerful and less anxious than everyone else?

Those of you who daven and say brachos and learn chassidus before davening- do you find that this really affects how happy and content you are with your life?

Those of you who have experience with anxiety and/ or depression, how do davening and yomim tovim and brachos affect your condition? Do you feel more anxious and depressed at the thought of getting up for minyan at 6 am? Do you feel that davening calms and relaxes you? Or are you stressed out because it just makes you late for work? Is it a mix, with the negatives and positives balancing themselves out?
 
Those of you who do not daven, do not say brachos, do not care about chassidus or yomim tovim- do you feel more anxious and depressed about your life? When bad things happen ( ex. lose your job) do you start to think "Gam Zu Le-," and then remember, "oh, yeah, I don't really believe all that," and then get upset, secretly wishing you still had some sort of wellspring of helpful sayings to draw from?   

Tags: hashkafa, science, shabbos, shul

02:40 am: Yom Tov

Simchas Torah was okay. Here are the recaps.

The good part: When two ladies and I sneaked a bottle of Skyy from the community meal and did our own version of hakafos in the main shul, dancing around the bima and singing old camp songs. It was a little glimpse of what things could have been like, had I been born with the right body parts.

The bad part: When the crazy uptight rabbi came to yell at us for being in the (empty) men's section and interferring with his shul experience.

The depressing part: Trying to dance with the ladies in the ladies' section and watching women tell off their teenage daughters for singing niggunim out loud. Because chas ve shalom, the men should hear them and violate kol isha.

Then we all had to sing in a whisper. Not kidding.  



Tags: rabbis, shul, women

12:52 pm: CHUMRA (stringencium) ®

Can You Imagine? Being More Special Than Everyone on Your Block is Now a Real Possibility!

For years, you just had to be satisfied with being a regular Jew. You thought  piety and specialness was out of your reach. But now, there's CHUMRA ®- a clinically proven way to be better than everyone in shul! With CHUMRA®, you can finally receive the honors and respect that you deserve.

Ask your Local Orthodox Rabbi about CHUMRA® (stringencium) today!

CHUMRA is used to increase external appearances of piety and religiousity for people who have not been able to accomplish this through standard holier-than-thou methods. CHUMRA® (stringencium)  comes in several strengths and should only be used in consultation with a Local Orthodox Rabbi who is an expert in extreme disorders of the religion. 

Only your Local Orthodox Rabbi can decide if CHUMRA is right for you. Serious physiological and psychological effects have been seen in patients taking CHUMRA. These include starvation, poverty, physical discomfort, boredom, anxiety, self-consciousness, violence towards women and garbage bins, illiteracy, lack of friends and even death.  Tell your Local Orthodox Rabbi if you think you have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or are being treated for any other mental-health deficiency.  If you are allergic to Cholov Yisroel products or do not think your point of view is the only correct one, CHUMRA may not be right for you. If you have gentile friends or use the internet other than for business purposes, CHUMRA may not be right for you. Tell your rabbi if you have ever eaten pas akum products, worn croc shoes on Yom Kippur, eaten food while walking on the street or have ever displaced your sins on money instead of chickens. Tell your rabbi if you have ever eaten manufactured products on Pesach or worn clothing that is not black and white. Tell your rabbi if you have ever made eye contact with anyone of the opposite gender. These are all signs that CHUMRA may be not right for you.  
 
The most common side effects of CHUMRA are hunger, jealousy, and an increased lack of social skills. However, more serious side effects have been reported. Although rare, some patients have experienced welfare fraud, lack of education, a need to protect criminals or a missing libido. CHUMRA has benefits and risks, like any other treatment. Speak to your rabbi about CHUMRA® (stringencium) today! 


CHUMRA ® (stringencium machmirus) Centuries of Helping People Be Holier Than You Are.

( Inspired by this and this.)

Tags: ha-ha

07:45 pm: How Does This Work, Again?
According to Time magazine, biologists are identifying new species at a rate of about 50 a day, with 17,000 new plants and animals described in 2006.

So how does this work with Noach? Did all of these species fit into the ark? Really? Even the ones no one knows about yet? What about the details- like did these giant rats and frogs and bats all travel to Noach and his Ark from New Guinea?

Or did some species evolve over time? Isn't that whole evolution thing problematic also?

Or is Time magazine just making things up again?

Most people who are religious believe in the flood story literally, as far as I understand, because it is not a medrash, it is straight text. So help me out, religious people. How do you synthesize the Noach story with what you read in the papers?

Tags: parshah, science

11:48 am: Following Authority

If it is Da’at Torah to hurl cinder blocks at human beings, then we want to see a clear halachic ruling on the matter from one of the great rulers, and then we too shall act likewise. In the meantime we will warn against it. - Rabbi Moshe Grylak

 
Okay, so according to FM, an immodestly dressed girl is assaulted with a cinder block. Some rabbis, including Rabbi Moshe Grylak, condemn this atrocity and they receive high praise.  Woo-hoo. Nice. 

Does Rabbi Moshe actually think that there is no halachic ruling on the matter from a great ruler? What is a great ruler, assuming it's not one of those pink plastic things that I buy each September from Walmart? And if we had a clear halachic ruling on the matter from one of these rulers,  would we really act likewise? Or is this just a manner of speaking and any ruler who authorizes this is automatically not  "one of the great" ones?  Anyone remember those rambams that authorize murdering apikorsim and beating women?

What about you personally?  What sort of authority would have to sanction hurling cinder-blocks at young untznius girls in order for you do so?

And what's with the "warning against it" language? Are we "warned against" intermarriage? Are we "warned against" eating pork? Or is it drilled into our heads from the day we are born until the day we die? But hurling cinder blocks at people- that gets a warning. 

Tags: rabbis, tznius, women

09:46 pm: The Beginning...and the End.

When I was young and naive, I thought that only wicked, selfish women had abortions. I even looked down on those who had to take birth control, thinking they were weak and spoiled.

Then I began to work in special ed. and saw children with severe, horrible disabilities and malformations and parents whose lives were forever changed. Children whose biggest accomplishment in life was going to be to learn to roll over or sit up. Or to survive until their first birthday. Parents who were wiped out from running from specialist to specialist searching for an impossible cure. Parents who owed hundreds of thousands of dollars for treatments that got them nowhere.  

Around that time was when I realized that if those mothers found out early and wanted to abort, they should have that option. Not one of us would know what we would do until we are in that situation.  And so not one of us should judge and pretend that we know what God wants. Not the doctors, not the congressmen in Washington, not Justices Scalia and Thomas, not the rabbonim.

Now I have a part-time job. Once or twice a week I do a night shift at an assisted living facility. My client is a 95 year old woman and I stay with her at night and clean her when she soils herself and calm her down when she starts crying. She cries a lot. She is constantly confused and scared. She often asks me where her mother is and who I am and where she is. She has cancer of the lungs and of the brain. Her uterus is disintegrating and she depends on the kindness of whoever is working that shift to clean her in a dignified way. She is always apologizing for her bodily functions, that is, whenever she is lucid enough to realize what happened.


The more I work with her, the more I can't imagine myself in that position. Humiliated, dependent, confused, anxious. With no end in sight.

We should all have the choice of opting out. We should be able to ask for an extra dosage of whatever pill will put us out of our misery or to plan for a doctor to help us do that when we cannot do it ourselves.   

Euthanasia is open to many problems and much potential abuse, but so is anything in life. Yes, it is possible that wicked children will try to skimp on grandma's care just to get into her will early. Yes, it is possible that wicked governments will set up death panels to save on healthcare costs. So what? Similar risks are inherent in any important decision- if you choose to have children, for example, there are so many things that could go wrong, so much potential for harm. Any decision carries risks.  

And the frum arguments just don't cut it. Life is precious and life belongs to Hashem and only He can decide when the game is over. Yeah, well, life is is not always precious. When you are anxious and dirty and helpless and have no where to go but down, life is not precious. Why would you think God wants people to live like this and not have a way out?  What if in addition to all of the above, the patient was in constant pain? What if no drugs could help her and she was literally in pain 24/7? Would it still be God's will for her to continue her painful existence? Would it still be wrong to help her die? Why?

Sorry this is all so depressing. I'll post something more amusing next time, maybe about girls who are getting paid not to wear make up. That's pretty funny.




Tags: hashkafa, morality

10:04 pm: Botei Dinim

So, what do you think about Botei Dinim?

The way it currently works is that in many states, a Beis Din ruling is considered an arbitration ruling and is therefore fully upheld by the secular courts.  I'm currently taking an arbitration course and it is very, very difficult to get a court to overturn an arbitration holding. Courts like arbitration because it saves them time and the parties can just work things out and the court puts its stamp of approval on it and everyone can be on their way.

In some regards, the Beis Din arbitration is great. Frum people work out their issues, save the courts time and money and go on their way. An agunah can get her beis din ruling upheld in a secular court and use the force of the law to her advantage.

But what about the First Amendment? Separation of Church and State? Isn't this using the State to uphold the Church's rulings? What happens when a Beis Din decision is made based on religious positions that are incompatible with American perceptions of justice ? For example, say a Beis Din ruling does not take into consideration the testimony of a female witness because women are not allowed to testify. Then the secular court upholds this ruling. How does that work out without violating Due Process Rights and the First Amendment?

An interesting example is here.

So what do you think? Should the secular courts stay out of this whole thing and not certify beis din rulings? Should a beis din not be considered an arbitration court? Is it a constitutional problem? Or is it overall a positive development, a win-win for everyone?

08:23 pm:
In a paper last month in the online journal Evolutionary Psychology, Gregory Paul finds that countries with the lowest rates of social dysfunction—based on 25 measures, including rates of homicide, abortion, teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, unemployment, and poverty—have become the most secular. Those with the most dysfunction, such as Portugal and the U.S., are the most religious, as measured by self-professed belief, church attendance, habits of prayer, and the like. 
 
From here. The original study is here.

Basically, the author brings a set of statistics to support his contention that the more religious a country is, the more dysfunctional it is likely to be and likewise, the less dysfunctional countries are also the most secular ones.

What say you? Is the study faulty because of so many other factors that could play a role? Is the journal too unsophisticated for you to take seriously? What conclusions, if any, can we make? Does it depend on the religion? On the political climate of the country? Is there only correlation and not causation? Is it maybe that countries with more dysfunction turn to religion instead of the other way around?

What about personal anecdotes? Think about the people that you know. Is level of observance correlated with happiness? With dysfunction? With morality? Are the religious people you know also the ones who are more moral, more happy and less dysfunctional than the ones who are secular?




Tags: morality

09:31 am: The Curse of Crazy Meshulachim
I have a friend. She is not wealthy and prides herself for living frugally. She has two children and is pregnant with her third. This is a really kind, good family.

Last week, a meshulach came to their door and told her a sob story about his ten children and how he can't feed them because he is a 45 year old orphan or something like that. My friend scrounged up all the extra money in the house, which turned out to be fifteen dollars and gave it to him. The meshulach demanded a check for more money and when she declined, he  then proceeded to curse her and her children. An actual curse, in Hebrew. My friend called me to comisserate and because she was worried about the curse of the crazy man.

So what are some real solutions that communities have used or can use to address this problem of unethical meshulachim who are complete and total scammers or just jerks? What do people in your town do?

Tags: charity, community, meshulachim, tzedaka

10:34 am: Let's Play My Favorite Game.


Which one is more crazy?

Door Number One:  Fun is goyishe so don't ask me if I like to have fun. From here.

Door Number Two:  Going to Walmart is a huge sexual nisyaon for me so please don't ask me to do your shopping. From here.

Door Number Three: Shaindy.com, the primier Orthodox cheating site, is now posting sex stories featuring incest and people named Moishe Shmiel, Hershy and Blimi. From here, but I wouldn't click on this at work. Or when you're eating. They are also looking for a Yiddish-speaking secretary. I'm guessing her name is going to have to be Blimi.

Door Number Four: The people involved in the Syrian money-laundering scam were just fulfilling veahavta lereacha kamocha. A true friend will help you bury the bodies. From here.


Vote! Vote! Vote!




Tags: crazy, hypocrisy, tznius, women

05:01 pm: Curing Swine Flu

Does anyone understand this?

Where is the internal consistency? If swine flu is spread through loshon hora and/or immorality, what good will flying mekubalim do?
If flying mekubalim have the power to heal, why don't they just do an All-Around-The-World trip, circling a couple of times over Africa and some other third world countries?

Do people of average intelligence believe in this? Who are these mekubalim?

Tags: sad and funny at the same time

02:14 am: No Thanks. Keep Your Titles.

So let me sum things up here. 

Some rabbonim allegedly were using frum terms to hide illegal money-laundering transactions and other frum people held impoverished immigrants at gun point for their kidneys.  Anti-Semites don't need to make up lies about Jews anymore, we're doing a great job of looking terrible all by ourselves. 
 
But the masses of frum followers are still singing the same old songs. Of course, it wasn't the rabbonim's fault. They were victims of the mosser, the evil informant, Solomon Dweck who tricked them. This entire chillul Hashem is Dweck's fault and everyone is very angry with him. He's chayav misa, apparently, and his family is sitting shiva for him. Oh, yeah and the FBI agents who planned this entrapment are also going to burn in hell. The biggest problem, of course, is not the money laundering or organ trafficking. No. The biggest problem is that, nebach, some gemachs and yeshivos will now have a harder time soliciting donations and keeping them safe from the government's nosy spies. 

And in other news,  Rabbi Michael Broyde is calling for greater training for Orthodox female clergy. Of course, he is very quick to point out that this does not mean trained women should be called rabbi for many reasons. For example, we have long-standing traditions that reserve formal authority to males. So women should be called something else, like clergy.

Well, you know what, Rabbi Broyde? It's okay. You can keep your title. I'd rather not be called a rabbi anytime soon. It's not as much of an honor as you'd like to think.

Tags: crazy, criminals, rabbis, women

07:43 pm: A Letter to the Lord

Dear God,

It's me, OnionSoupMix.

Lord, I am so very angry with you today. So very angry. 

I came across a crazy blog written by this Anti-Feminist Rebbetzin. OMG, women from all over the world write her letters asking  for advice. They ask her about whether they should go to college a Liberal Wasteland and become  productive immoral citizens or marry their beloved and spend their days worshipping the ground he walks on. They ask about how to repair their marriages if they have not been subservient enough in the past.

Oh yeah. Did I mention that SHE'S ALL OF 24 YEARS OLD AND MARRIED FOR ONE YEAR WITH ONE CHILD???  Did I miss that part?

And me, Lord? What about me? I am older and have more experience than she does. And NO ONE writes me advice letters. No one asks Oh, OnionSoupMix, should I embrace atheism and immediately become a drug-addicted sex maniac or should I remain loyal to the faith of my ancestors and live a holy, chosen and pure life?   No one asks me whether they should eat a ham sandwich on Yom Kippur or concentrate on the coming of Moshiach during Neilah. No one even wants to know whether it's better to pray for your shidduch during a solar eclipse or Bircas Hachamah, frankly.

Why not? Why isn't anyone asking for my advice, oh Lord? Is it because of my sinful, wicked ways? Is it because of my avatar which shows my face? Is it because the name of my blog does not inspire confidence and ladylike grace? Is it because I am a feminist? Why? Why? Why hast thou forsaken me?

Hattip: pester . Although it's not really a hat-tip, it's more like an ass-kick because I wasted three hours of my life reading that drivel.

Tags: ha-ha, women

11:38 am: Judaism on Solar Eclipses

Mmm... So this week, we are having a total solar eclipse. Here's how Hindu practitioners are reacting. Pregnant women are staying indoors and the general populace is predicting some major calamity, like the assassination of a politician or a huge natural disaster.

The gemara states that solar eclipses occur if a Torah scholar is buried without being properly eulogized, if a betrothed maiden is raped and no one hears her cries, if two brothers are killed at the same time and because of homosexuality. ( Succah 29a).
 
Aish's take on this is here and basically states that the fact that solar eclipses are predictable doesn't mean that they are not punishments, because "certain time periods are set aside for Divine justice to be meted out."

So here are my questions.

1. First on the Gemara itself: 
 
a. Those of you who do not feel obligated to take every word of the gemara literally, is this one of the things you ignore? Is this just ancient science and replaceable with modern understanding? It does mention Hashem and Divine Punishment, so how do you know  to discard this theory but not other instances of Divine retribution? In other words, if this passage is false, why should we believe anything else the gemara has to say on punishment?

b. Those of you who do feel obligated to take every word of the gemara literally- do you see yourselves as different from the Hindu believers? This is not superstition for you? What do you think will happen during this solar eclipse? How do you explain other solar eclipses that have come and gone without horrible world tragedies?

c. What's with the categories? Why two brothers killed at the same time? Why not two sisters? Why the rape of the betrothed girl and not any other female or any other crime? Why a eulogy of a Torah scholar and not  his wife or  the eulogy of a generous donor who allowed the Torah scholar to continue learning? His father in law, maybe?  

d. What's the story with the indiscriminate punishment? Are we really expected to believe that our Just and Fair God is going to cause a natural disaster in Asia to punish the gays in San Fransisco? How is that supposed to be effective?

2. Second, on the Aish explanation:

a. If there are specific, immutable times set aside for punishment, doesn't that defeat the supposed purpose of the punishment? Like if I set aside every Sunday afternoon to beat my child for whatever infractions s/he has committed that week, regardless of whether any infractions were committed, doesn't that decrease my child's motivation to refrain from wrong behavior?

If we're anyway going to have solar eclipses and be subject to horrible divine punishment whenever scientists explain that these eclipses will occur, why bother being good- let's skip all the eulogies and go to a gay bar instead where we'll rape betrothed maidens and kill brothers at the same time. Party on!  

b. If there are specific  times set aside for punishment, doesn't that mean that this punishment should occur? Is there any statistical evidence that natural disasters or political assassinations are correllated with eclipses? No? I didn't think so. The Aish site claims variations in animal and human disease because of vast protons discharged into our atmosphere. Source? Validity? 

Tags: science

08:05 pm: I just don't get it.

What is going on over there in Meah Shearim?

I read this article and this one and still don't get it.

Why are all these people torching trash bins and violently rioting to protect some crazy woman who was starving her kid?

Hundreds of people are trashing their own city, torching their own welfare offices to protest the arrest of one insane mother? Are these the frum equivalent of bored gang members who are just looking for excuses to vandalize and this cause is as good as any? Or does anyone really think this woman was arrested falsely and that this is the best strategy to effect her release?

Do these people ignore the halachic ramifications of their actions or do they actually think their behavior reflects ratzon hashem?





Tags: crazy, morality