My Simple Plan to Save the World
 
This blog has a faithful reader who is worried about me. Specifically, the reader is worried about the copious amounts of loshon horah I spew forth on a weekly basis. The reader occasionally sends me books or pamphlets on loshon horah. I have found these to be most enlightening.  A recent set of divrei torah, for example, pointed out that when Jews speak Loshon Horah, this gives power to the Soton. The Soton then channels this energy into... drum- role, yes, you guessed it, Science!  

From here:

Where did all this come from? As Rabbi Kessin has pointed out, if the Jews sin, then the Soton receives the flow of Divine energy, twists it into a physical caricature of its spiritual form, and gives it to the nations. In this case, the light of Moshiach, a divine wisdom which gives insight into the spiritual worlds, was converted into a body of knowledge that shows the mechanics of the physical world. And what is that? Science....

Since all the advances in science came ultimately from the Soton, who had taken the ohr Moshiach that had been meant for us, had twisted it into a force for understanding the physical world, and had given it to the nations, we must take another attitude every time that we visit one of those big-box electronics stores to buy yet another appliance. As we gaze in wonder at the latest super-small, yet super-speedy computers (far faster than last year’s model) and marvel at the latest that technology has wrought, a sad thought must cross our minds: “All this is but a perverted shadow of what was really meant – for us!” 

Says Rabbi Kessin: Look at the damage done by loshon hora. Not only does a Jew’s speaking or believing loshon hora enable the Soton to prosecute him and then punish him, but this sin also gives the Soton the ability to take the kedushah which was meant for us, pervert it, and give it to the nations, who then can use it against us. Furthermore, when the Soton is able to take from the ohr Moshiach, the advent of Moshiach is delayed, and he is able to continue his destruction in ways never imagined before...

So my simple plan to save the world is that we should all take great care to speak lots of loshon horah every day. That way, science will advance rapidly, much quicker than now. Cures for horrible diseases will be found, technology will find new ways to grow plentiful crops for starving people in third world nations, natural disasters will be predicted and averted, the environment will be cleaner, foreign policies will change and people will be much happier. Gas prices will go down. The housing market will finally bounce back. All because of the loshon hora that you and I speak, imagine that! 

So let's divide up the day. I will be happy to take the 9am-12pm slot and talk loshon horah for at least those three hours every day. Anyone else? Come on, I know it's hard, but it is for the greater good.