The Source of the Problem

Okay, from what I understand of this article, the owner of a newspaper is suing a group of rabbis for banning his newspaper  and libeling it as "unsuitable" for Hareidim.  Why was it unsuitable for Hareidim? Well, it displayed photos of females. Blurred photos, to be sure, but they were still female. The owner of the paper was warned, but he persisted in his immoral ways.

Now this is all good and well as it should be. However, the problem still remains. We can't avoid talking about it for much longer. It's a serious issue that we need to face as a community.

There are females all around us. Everywhere.  In stores, in the street, in hospital lobbies. In grocery check -out lines and in the elevators and in my neighbor's home.  Moreover, these females are not blurred, if you've noticed. In fact, they are high-definition females. You can almost touch them, that's how real they look (not that I recommend touching them). Maybe they are 3-D even. 

Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just telling it like it is.

Whose fault is all this? Yep, you know. It's difficult to admit, but you've known the answer all along.  You know in your heart, down deep inside, whose fault this all is. It is the Lord's fault. He has gone and made those women. And He had plenty of reminders and plenty of chances to correct His errors. Despite how patient we have all been, there are still females everywhere around us. In fact, new ones are made every day, I would guess.  Enough is enough, I say.  This must come to an end.

We must ban God. Sure, He's done some good things here and there, random acts of kindness and all that. But we need to stand up and fight for what we believe in, for what the Torah requires of us. We must eradicate the evil from our midst. It will be difficult, but we must ban the insolent Lord who keeps causing females to appear over and over again, despite our repeated requests. There may be some negative consequences to this kol korei, but that's never stopped us before. We know the truth and we are willing to do whatever it takes to get our message across.

No more God, no more prayers, no more offerings, no more fasting, no more Mr. Nice Orthodox Jews. Not until He agrees to repent and eliminate all females from our surroundings. Or at the very least, make them blurry.