Questions

Flirting with Avodah Zara

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:10:34 GMT

As I spend my last days as a bochur, I strive that they should be spent in holiness and purity, in learning and teaching Torah, and doing Mivtzoim. I strive that I be zoiche to get married in Kedusha to the other half of my Neshomo, the young lady the Rebbe has chosen for me. I yearn for the day we'll set out for Shlichus to do the Rebbe's work. What more can I ask for?! The Rebbe blesses my life. The Rebbe guides my life. The Rebbe is my life. From here.

There are some meshichist statements that bleed over to the elokistim side. In my opinion, this is one of them. This person clearly believes in Hashem, believes in the Torah, etc, but sees all heavenly events as going through the Rebbe, who is a conduit for God's interactions with the world.

Is this Avodah Zara? I mean, if the Rebbe blesses my life and guides it, why shouldn't I daven to him? Maybe he'll bless it and guide it a bit more.

For those of you who think this is idolatry, do you think that all the halachos of an idolworshipper apply to this person? Would you daven in a minyan with him? Eat from his shechita? How is this bochur different than someone who just believes in angels who bring messages from God or something like that? Where's the fine line?

For those of you who do not think this is idolatry, what would the person have to say for it to be consider idolworship? Would he have to assert that the Rebbe created the world? What is it that idolworshippers believe which this person does not? Christians do not think Jesus created the world, are they idolaters, in your opinion?

What about a religion like Hinduism, in which the gods are various forms of a Supreme Being? Is that idolatrous?

For My Most Feministishe Readers

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:56:15 GMT

I don't have a lot of time to write because finals are coming up already and I have to worry about evidence and business associations exams.

But I just wanted to let you feministishe ladies know that Rav Moshe Feinstein thought you are just as good as any man. in fact, he says here that "to think that women somehow are considered less than men is a great mistake. We see by all matters of Kedusha in the Torah by Har Sinai and other places that women have the same standing as men." Yep. That's what Rav Moshe said.

So please, feministishe ladies. Don't let anyone make you feel bad.

For example, when you read that you are too stupid to be a mashgicha, please remember that Rav Moshe thought you were just as good as any man.

Also when you read that people are only obligated to show you respect depending on whom you married, please remember that that Rav Moshe thought you were just as good as any man.

When you read that some frum companies won't even employ you please remember that Rav Moshe thought you were just as good as any man.

And finally, when you read that you can't even daven at the kosel with a talis, please remember that Rav Moshe thought you were just as good as any man.

I hope that brings you comfort.

Shalom J.C. Rubashkin

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:29:41 GMT

Dear Crazy People!

Thank you for playing our very fun game of America's-Funniest-Rubashkin-Post-Verdict-Comments.

The First Place winner is Boruch Hoffinger! The winning comment is:

...If Shol-m Rubashkin is a tzaddik then he's going to jail (Hopefully only a short time.) and suffering because of our 'averot.' From Here, #99.

and the Runner Up is Mr.Milhouse with a very insightful commentary on the criminal justice system:

...The fact is that there is nothing in Shulchon Oruch that says we may not break the law. Nothing. And this is only logical. If something was mutar before Congress banned it, how can it be ossur now, and if it was ossur before Congress permitted or required it, how can it be muttar now? How did Congress get the power to turn good into bad, or bad into good? From here.

Congratulations to the winners! We are still working on figuring out your prizes. Stay tuned.

Don't Worry About That Silly Ten Commandments Thing. Really.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:21:23 GMT

So my last two posts focused on the Rambam and whether Torah morality is eternal. The vast majority of my commenters here clearly thought the rambam's principles applied to his day and time and do not apply to ours and should not be taken out of context. The consensus was that those chapters are essentially...irrelevant to modern society.

Now we have Rav Yitzchak Shapira and Toras HaMelech, a recently-published sefer in which this Rosh Yeshiva explains that Jews are actually allowed to murder gentiles, even Chassidei Umos HaOlam, even women and children, even if they are not responsible for a threat to the Jewish people. From here.

YWN, of course, tells us that this is all exaggrerated and silly nonsense, the book is a work of theoretical halacha and should not be used as permission to take the law into one's own hands. Good to know.

So here are the questions for today.

1. Do you think this guy is just a crazy extremist whom we should just write off? It shouldn't matter that he's a Rosh Yeshiva of a big ~~chabad~~ school? We should just hide our head in the sand and pretend only Islam has problems with crazy extremists? Should we also dismiss Rav Yitzchak Ginsburg, another famous chabad rabbi associated with this whole lunacy, who goes on world-wide speaking tours?

2. Do you think these books & pamphlets are a cause of actual crimes against gentiles? If not, why not? Why should inciteful material somehow have no bearing on behavior? If they are a cause of actual crimes, how are these sefarim different than the Rambam's works? So why should we all learn Daily Rambam and his halachos of rape and murder, but we should not learn Toras Hamelech?

3. Why did Rabbi Shapira choose to give us frum yidden a heter for murder, instead of say, something more practical, like a heter for cheeseburgers? Maybe he can write a sequel about how yidden can eat treife food on shabbos for the purpose of protecting the Holy Land or something like that. I would buy that book. Heck, I'll help him write it.

You thought it couldn't get any worse...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:07:14 GMT

After reading these three Naarah Besulah chapters, it is very clear that rape was completely a civil matter back in the days of the Rambam and the only thing wrong was that the girl's virginity value was decreased. The punishment, therefore, for rape was a set of fines, payable to the girl's dad, of course, and forced marriage to the victim, if she and her father consent.

The possible fines included one for payment for virginal sex, one for embarrassment, one for damages and one for pain.

You can read these chapters yourself (1, 2, 3) , but here are some highlights:

A rapist was not obligated to pay any fines unless there were witnesses to the act. Even his own admission does not render him liable.
A rapist was not obligated to pay the virginal sex fine for anal rape.
A rapist was not obligated to pay the virginal sex fine for any female over 12.5 or under 3.
Embarrassment damages were not uniform. They were calculated according to the family's status. A poor, girl from a simple family was given less than a girl from "known lineage."
Damages were given according to the girl's beauty, as assessed by the difference in her virginal and non-virginal value on a slave market.
A man who rapes a mentally retarded girl or one who is deaf-mute, does not pay any of these fines for embarrasment or damages or virginal sex. All he pays is a fine for pain. If he will swear that she consented ( yes, the mentally retarded 3-to-12 year old), he can skip the pain fee also and is called a seducer and not a rapist, and has NO CONSEQUENCES at all.
If the girl has a bad reputation or was pimped out by her father, the rapist also incurs no fines.

So. If you're still reading, here are my two questions.

1. If I am a frum Jew living in 2009 and I know that this is the Jewish attitude towards rape, why on earth would I report a rapist or child molester to secular authorities ? Why would I do that when this is clearly seen as a financial issue, not a criminal one?

2. Why does chabad.org keep translating these rambams and posting them online? Shouldn't somebody give them a kick in the pants? Shouldn't they at least come up with a touchy-feely kabbalah-fluff explanation and post it online too?

I wonder if the women who author articles like this one for chabad.org know about these laws. The incongruence is too much.

Did the Jews Kill Jesus?

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:39:34 GMT

Did the Jews kill Jesus? The Gospels say yes. We say no.

Uh... who cares?

According to the Rambam, it would have been a mitzvah if we had.

It is a mitzvah, however, to eradicate Jewish traitors, minnim, and apikorsim, and to cause them to descend to the pit of destruction, since they cause difficulty to the Jews and sway the people away from God, {as did Jesus of Nazareth and his students, and Tzadok, Baithos, and their students. May the name of the wicked rot.} From Here.

That whole section is great, btw. We're not allowed to save idolaters from drowning, regardless of whether it is shabbos or not. We can't offer them medicine or even rent them homes. You can't even speak about them in a kind manner or give them gifts.

Well, okay, see, since we live in America, and are subject to secular rule and would probably get in trouble, we don't actually have to follow all this right now.

But that's part of the evil of living in Galus- we're forced to be moral and ethical, to some extent. Hopefully Moshiach will come soon and I can start killing pagans and heretics right and left.

Seriously, frum people.

How can you ever accept anything the rambam says as valid after that page of gibberish?

How can you ever accept the Torah as the true compass of morality after reading that page?

What, exactly, is the big deal about being an idol worshipper, that you deserve death for it? How does idolatry render your life worthless more so than, say, atheism?

Why should we not kill a convicted child rapist, for example, but oh boy, once he starts praying to Zeus, off with his head. What sense does that make?

Is Halacha for Crazy People?

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:07:04 GMT

In a very sad event last week, a young daughter of a shliach in Israel was tragically killed in a school-bus accident. The whole story was horrible.

At the shiva, the little girl's grandmother, the famous Miriam Swerdlov, spoke about taking the good with the bad and mi k'amcha yisrael and so on. She also sang a song with the women at the shiva, one of the tunes that reflected the idea of the Jewish people never forsaking Hashem no matter what evils befall them.

Her speech was recorded. The blog that posted the video on youtube initially deleted the singing segment. Later it posted the full version and warned that it contains KOL ISHA and is intended FOR WOMEN ONLY PLEASE.

Kol Isha is a halacha in which men are not allowed to hear women singing so that they should not get aroused and come to sin.

Okay, now I acknowledge that it is possible that there is a man out there who could be aroused by a 60 year old woman singing a niggun with a bunch of other women at her three-year-old granddaugher's shiva. Anything is possible.

But if halacha is going to cater to that, if halacha is going to take those people into account, why doesn't it consider the man who is turned on by the very sight of any woman in the first place? Why doesn't it take into account the man who might be aroused at the sound of male singing? Surely there are more men aroused by male singing or even conversation, say in shul, than would be aroused by Miriam Swerdlov humming a tune at a shiva house. No?

I know, I know. Some people are going to start talking about boundaries and slippery slopes and how halacha has to have fixed parameters. Because if we allow men to hear this, then maybe we should let men hear women singing at a farbrengen or at shul. And from there, I guess, it is a quick and direct path to permitting all female rock bands and wet t-shirt contests and mud wrestling.

Really, though? Is that answer enough for you? Is the slope really that slippery? Halacha doesn't have any mechanisms to permit some forms of kol isha but not others? I doubt that. So what's the deal here? How difficult would it really be for rabbonim to matir women's singing if it is in a religious context?

Retiring Mesirah

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 09:30:42 GMT

The prohibition of mesirah is well known among religious Jews. The severity of this issur becomes ever so clear when we read in Shulchan Aruch that a mosser is dino ke’akum with respect to writing a sefer Torah (Yoreh Deah 281:3) and with respect to shechitah ( Remah ibid 2:9). Even if the mosser is otherwise an observant individual, and is meticulous in fulfilling his religious duties, because he demonstrates his rejection of the unity of all of Klal Yisroel (by his act of mesirah), he is treated as an akum (see Rambam, Hilchos Teshuva 3:11 and Nefesh Horav pg. 235).

If, however, one is guilty of a crime, and according to the law of the land deserves a prison sentence, or will be put to death, even though according to Jewish law his punishment would not be as severe, this is not mesirah (see Ritva to Bava Metsia 83b; Dvar Avraham vol. I pg. 8). One would still not be allowed to hand this individual over to the civil authorities because this is the equivalent of returning aveidas akum, which is usually not allowed. In an instance of avoiding a chilul Hashem, just like we would be obligated to return the aveidas akum, so too we would be obligated to hand over this individual (see Rama, Choshen Mishpat 388:12).

From here.

The Hebrew word is mesira, which means basically you are not allowed to be an informant," said Rabbi Shea Hecht, a well-known figure in Crown Heights.
"In essence, I am not allowed to snitch, period." From here.

As society changes, halacha has also evolved. Many rules designed for a different era are essentially defunct, through loopholes or the like. For example, it used to be forbidden to drink wine with a gentile or to break bread with him. Now it's basically fine, as long as you drink mevushal wine and eat in a kosher establishment. It used to be forbidden to drink milk supervised by a gentile because we were afraid that milk from treife animals may be added in. Now, in many countries, there are laws in place to prevent dairy manufacturers from adding anything extra into the product and cholov yisroel is a chumra.

The halacha of mesira also needs to be retired, in the same way as the rules mentioned above.

The laws of mesira were designed to prevent tyrannical and anti-semitic governments from harming innocent Jews.They were not designed to allow Jewish criminals to avoid punishment. Regardless of whether chillul hashem is involved or not, Jewish criminals only harm our communities and should be subjected to the justice system, just like anyone else.

Think about it. Do you really think that God wants Jews to be able to get away with crimes that everyone else would receive prison sentences for? Do you really think God expects botei dinim all over the world to handle the appropriate consequences for criminal activities in the frum world? Do you think cherem (excommunication) for a money launderer or a child molestor or a wife beater is enough?

I read these questions on imamother a lot. This and this happened to my child and I don't know what to do. The answer is always to call your local orthodox rabbi before speaking to secular authorities.

In most places, Jews do not live in countries with anti-semitic and tyrannical leadership. Jews have no less of a chance at a fair shake in the justice system than anybody else and there's really NO REASON TO CALL YOUR RAV when faced with a crime possibly committed by a frum person.

Just call the cops.

Mesirah is outdated and harms our community more than it benefits us.

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:12:09 GMT

There are so many elements of Judaism that are designed to make us happier people. All of davening is supposed to teach us gratitude and bitachon. Every bracha is supposed to teach appreciation for what we have. So many holidays are dedicated to remembering the good things that God has done for us and continues to do for us. There is even a specific exortation to be happy- Mitzvah Gedolah L'hiot BeSimcha Tamid. Chassidim, in general, place a greater emphasis on the importance of happiness in religion than other groups.

And yet, I don't think the rates of depression or anxiety (or even subclinical dissatisfaction) in frum and chassidic communities are lower than those rates in the rest of the population. Why is that?

One option is that the frum Jewish lifestyle is considerably more difficult and more stressful than that of the rest of society. Tuition, lack of heteirim for birth control, limited secular education, poverty, high cost of kosher food- these all stress us out. So davening and brachos helps but not enough and without those supports, frum people would be even more depressed. Do you think that's true? That frum people have a harder life than everyone else and that explains this discrepancy?

Another option is that davening and brachos and all of this just don't work. Do they not work because frum people don't do these things correctly- they don't have enough kavanah, they mumble their brachos, they don't learn chassidus before davening, they don't think about the meaning behind yomim tovim? Or is it because davening just doesn't work, period? It's not yoga enough?

Is it because anxiety and depression are clinical disorders and prayer isn't going to help, much like praying isn't going to cure your cold? Is it because people tend to have set personalities and religious observance isn't going to change that personality trait much one way or the other?

Or am I totally wrong and frum people ARE actually more cheerful and less anxious than everyone else?

Those of you who daven and say brachos and learn chassidus before davening- do you find that this really affects how happy and content you are with your life?

Those of you who have experience with anxiety and/ or depression, how do davening and yomim tovim and brachos affect your condition? Do you feel more anxious and depressed at the thought of getting up for minyan at 6 am? Do you feel that davening calms and relaxes you? Or are you stressed out because it just makes you late for work? Is it a mix, with the negatives and positives balancing themselves out?

Those of you who do not daven, do not say brachos, do not care about chassidus or yomim tovim- do you feel more anxious and depressed about your life? When bad things happen ( ex. lose your job) do you start to think "Gam Zu Le-," and then remember, "oh, yeah, I don't really believe all that," and then get upset, secretly wishing you still had some sort of wellspring of helpful sayings to draw from?

Yom Tov

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 06:52:22 GMT

Simchas Torah was okay. Here are the recaps.

The good part: When two ladies and I sneaked a bottle of Skyy from the community meal and did our own version of hakafos in the main shul, dancing around the bima and singing old camp songs. It was a little glimpse of what things could have been like, had I been born with the right body parts.

The bad part: When the crazy uptight rabbi came to yell at us for being in the (empty) men's section and interferring with his shul experience.

The depressing part: Trying to dance with the ladies in the ladies' section and watching women tell off their teenage daughters for singing niggunim out loud. Because chas ve shalom, the men should hear them and violate kol isha.

Then we all had to sing in a whisper. Not kidding.

CHUMRA (stringencium) ®

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 17:42:13 GMT

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How Does This Work, Again?

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:57:54 GMT

According to Time magazine, biologists are identifying new species at a rate of about 50 a day, with 17,000 new plants and animals described in 2006.

So how does this work with Noach? Did all of these species fit into the ark? Really? Even the ones no one knows about yet? What about the details- like did these giant rats and frogs and bats all travel to Noach and his Ark from New Guinea?

Or did some species evolve over time? Isn't that whole evolution thing problematic also?

Or is Time magazine just making things up again?

Most people who are religious believe in the flood story literally, as far as I understand, because it is not a medrash, it is straight text. So help me out, religious people. How do you synthesize the Noach story with what you read in the papers?

Following Authority

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:39:59 GMT

If it is Da’at Torah to hurl cinder blocks at human beings, then we want to see a clear halachic ruling on the matter from one of the great rulers, and then we too shall act likewise. In the meantime we will warn against it. - Rabbi Moshe Grylak

Okay, so according to FM, an immodestly dressed girl is assaulted with a cinder block. Some rabbis, including Rabbi Moshe Grylak, condemn this atrocity and they receive high praise. Woo-hoo. Nice.

Does Rabbi Moshe actually think that there is no halachic ruling on the matter from a great ruler? What is a great ruler, assuming it's not one of those pink plastic things that I buy each September from Walmart? And if we had a clear halachic ruling on the matter from one of these rulers, would we really act likewise? Or is this just a manner of speaking and any ruler who authorizes this is automatically not "one of the great" ones? Anyone remember those rambams that authorize murdering apikorsim and beating women?

What about you personally? What sort of authority would have to sanction hurling cinder-blocks at young untznius girls in order for you do so?

And what's with the "warning against it" language? Are we "warned against" intermarriage? Are we "warned against" eating pork? Or is it drilled into our heads from the day we are born until the day we die? But hurling cinder blocks at people- that gets a warning.

The Beginning...and the End.

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:14:07 GMT

When I was young and naive, I thought that only wicked, selfish women had abortions. I even looked down on those who had to take birth control, thinking they were weak and spoiled.

Then I began to work in special ed. and saw children with severe, horrible disabilities and malformations and parents whose lives were forever changed. Children whose biggest accomplishment in life was going to be to learn to roll over or sit up. Or to survive until their first birthday. Parents who were wiped out from running from specialist to specialist searching for an impossible cure. Parents who owed hundreds of thousands of dollars for treatments that got them nowhere.

Around that time was when I realized that if those mothers found out early and wanted to abort, they should have that option. Not one of us would know what we would do until we are in that situation. And so not one of us should judge and pretend that we know what God wants. Not the doctors, not the congressmen in Washington, not Justices Scalia and Thomas, not the rabbonim.

Now I have a part-time job. Once or twice a week I do a night shift at an assisted living facility. My client is a 95 year old woman and I stay with her at night and clean her when she soils herself and calm her down when she starts crying. She cries a lot. She is constantly confused and scared. She often asks me where her mother is and who I am and where she is. She has cancer of the lungs and of the brain. Her uterus is disintegrating and she depends on the kindness of whoever is working that shift to clean her in a dignified way. She is always apologizing for her bodily functions, that is, whenever she is lucid enough to realize what happened.

The more I work with her, the more I can't imagine myself in that position. Humiliated, dependent, confused, anxious. With no end in sight.

We should all have the choice of opting out. We should be able to ask for an extra dosage of whatever pill will put us out of our misery or to plan for a doctor to help us do that when we cannot do it ourselves.

Euthanasia is open to many problems and much potential abuse, but so is anything in life. Yes, it is possible that wicked children will try to skimp on grandma's care just to get into her will early. Yes, it is possible that wicked governments will set up death panels to save on healthcare costs. So what? Similar risks are inherent in any important decision- if you choose to have children, for example, there are so many things that could go wrong, so much potential for harm. Any decision carries risks.

And the frum arguments just don't cut it. Life is precious and life belongs to Hashem and only He can decide when the game is over. Yeah, well, life is is not always precious. When you are anxious and dirty and helpless and have no where to go but down, life is not precious. Why would you think God wants people to live like this and not have a way out? What if in addition to all of the above, the patient was in constant pain? What if no drugs could help her and she was literally in pain 24/7? Would it still be God's will for her to continue her painful existence? Would it still be wrong to help her die? Why?

Sorry this is all so depressing. I'll post something more amusing next time, maybe about girls who are getting paid not to wear make up. That's pretty funny.

Botei Dinim

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 02:42:03 GMT

So, what do you think about Botei Dinim?

The way it currently works is that in many states, a Beis Din ruling is considered an arbitration ruling and is therefore fully upheld by the secular courts. I'm currently taking an arbitration course and it is very, very difficult to get a court to overturn an arbitration holding. Courts like arbitration because it saves them time and the parties can just work things out and the court puts its stamp of approval on it and everyone can be on their way.

In some regards, the Beis Din arbitration is great. Frum people work out their issues, save the courts time and money and go on their way. An agunah can get her beis din ruling upheld in a secular court and use the force of the law to her advantage.

But what about the First Amendment? Separation of Church and State? Isn't this using the State to uphold the Church's rulings? What happens when a Beis Din decision is made based on religious positions that are incompatible with American perceptions of justice ? For example, say a Beis Din ruling does not take into consideration the testimony of a female witness because women are not allowed to testify. Then the secular court upholds this ruling. How does that work out without violating Due Process Rights and the First Amendment?

An interesting example is here.

So what do you think? Should the secular courts stay out of this whole thing and not certify beis din rulings? Should a beis din not be considered an arbitration court? Is it a constitutional problem? Or is it overall a positive development, a win-win for everyone?

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 00:34:05 GMT

In a paper last month in the online journal Evolutionary Psychology, Gregory Paul finds that countries with the lowest rates of social dysfunction—based on 25 measures, including rates of homicide, abortion, teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, unemployment, and poverty—have become the most secular. Those with the most dysfunction, such as Portugal and the U.S., are the most religious, as measured by self-professed belief, church attendance, habits of prayer, and the like.

From here. The original study is here.

Basically, the author brings a set of statistics to support his contention that the more religious a country is, the more dysfunctional it is likely to be and likewise, the less dysfunctional countries are also the most secular ones.

What say you? Is the study faulty because of so many other factors that could play a role? Is the journal too unsophisticated for you to take seriously? What conclusions, if any, can we make? Does it depend on the religion? On the political climate of the country? Is there only correlation and not causation? Is it maybe that countries with more dysfunction turn to religion instead of the other way around?

What about personal anecdotes? Think about the people that you know. Is level of observance correlated with happiness? With dysfunction? With morality? Are the religious people you know also the ones who are more moral, more happy and less dysfunctional than the ones who are secular?

The Curse of Crazy Meshulachim

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:50:18 GMT

I have a friend. She is not wealthy and prides herself for living frugally. She has two children and is pregnant with her third. This is a really kind, good family.

Last week, a meshulach came to their door and told her a sob story about his ten children and how he can't feed them because he is a 45 year old orphan or something like that. My friend scrounged up all the extra money in the house, which turned out to be fifteen dollars and gave it to him. The meshulach demanded a check for more money and when she declined, he then proceeded to curse her and her children. An actual curse, in Hebrew. My friend called me to comisserate and because she was worried about the curse of the crazy man.

So what are some real solutions that communities have used or can use to address this problem of unethical meshulachim who are complete and total scammers or just jerks? What do people in your town do?

Let's Play My Favorite Game.

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:47:57 GMT

Which one is more crazy?

Door Number One: Fun is goyishe so don't ask me if I like to have fun. From here.

Door Number Two: Going to Walmart is a huge sexual nisyaon for me so please don't ask me to do your shopping. From here.

Door Number Three: Shaindy.com, the primier Orthodox cheating site, is now posting sex stories featuring incest and people named Moishe Shmiel, Hershy and Blimi. From here, but I wouldn't click on this at work. Or when you're eating. They are also looking for a Yiddish-speaking secretary. I'm guessing her name is going to have to be Blimi.

Door Number Four: The people involved in the Syrian money-laundering scam were just fulfilling veahavta lereacha kamocha. A true friend will help you bury the bodies. From here.

Vote! Vote! Vote!

Curing Swine Flu

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:13:19 GMT

Does anyone understand this?

Where is the internal consistency? If swine flu is spread through loshon hora and/or immorality, what good will flying mekubalim do?
If flying mekubalim have the power to heal, why don't they just do an All-Around-The-World trip, circling a couple of times over Africa and some other third world countries?

Do people of average intelligence believe in this? Who are these mekubalim?

No Thanks. Keep Your Titles.

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 06:26:22 GMT

So let me sum things up here.

Some rabbonim allegedly were using frum terms to hide illegal money-laundering transactions and other frum people held impoverished immigrants at gun point for their kidneys. Anti-Semites don't need to make up lies about Jews anymore, we're doing a great job of looking terrible all by ourselves.

But the masses of frum followers are still singing the same old songs. Of course, it wasn't the rabbonim's fault. They were victims of the mosser, the evil informant, Solomon Dweck who tricked them. This entire chillul Hashem is Dweck's fault and everyone is very angry with him. He's chayav misa, apparently, and his family is sitting shiva for him. Oh, yeah and the FBI agents who planned this entrapment are also going to burn in hell. The biggest problem, of course, is not the money laundering or organ trafficking. No. The biggest problem is that, nebach, some gemachs and yeshivos will now have a harder time soliciting donations and keeping them safe from the government's nosy spies.

And in other news, Rabbi Michael Broyde is calling for greater training for Orthodox female clergy. Of course, he is very quick to point out that this does not mean trained women should be called rabbi for many reasons. For example, we have long-standing traditions that reserve formal authority to males. So women should be called something else, like clergy.

Well, you know what, Rabbi Broyde? It's okay. You can keep your title. I'd rather not be called a rabbi anytime soon. It's not as much of an honor as you'd like to think.

A Letter to the Lord

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:21:51 GMT

Dear God,

It's me, OnionSoupMix.

Lord, I am so very angry with you today. So very angry.

I came across a crazy blog written by this Anti-Feminist Rebbetzin. OMG, women from all over the world write her letters asking for advice. They ask her about whether they should go to ~~college~~ a Liberal Wasteland and become ~~productive~~ immoral citizens or marry their beloved and spend their days worshipping the ground he walks on. They ask about how to repair their marriages if they have not been subservient enough in the past.

Oh yeah. Did I mention that SHE'S ALL OF 24 YEARS OLD AND MARRIED FOR ONE YEAR WITH ONE CHILD??? Did I miss that part?

And me, Lord? What about me? I am older and have more experience than she does. And NO ONE writes me advice letters. No one asks Oh, OnionSoupMix, should I embrace atheism and immediately become a drug-addicted sex maniac or should I remain loyal to the faith of my ancestors and live a holy, chosen and pure life? No one asks me whether they should eat a ham sandwich on Yom Kippur or concentrate on the coming of Moshiach during Neilah. No one even wants to know whether it's better to pray for your shidduch during a solar eclipse or Bircas Hachamah, frankly.

Why not? Why isn't anyone asking for my advice, oh Lord? Is it because of my sinful, wicked ways? Is it because of my avatar which shows my face? Is it because the name of my blog does not inspire confidence and ladylike grace? Is it because I am a feminist? Why? Why? Why hast thou forsaken me?

Hattip: pester . Although it's not really a hat-tip, it's more like an ass-kick because I wasted three hours of my life reading that drivel.

Judaism on Solar Eclipses

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 16:14:51 GMT

Mmm... So this week, we are having a total solar eclipse. Here's how Hindu practitioners are reacting. Pregnant women are staying indoors and the general populace is predicting some major calamity, like the assassination of a politician or a huge natural disaster.

The gemara states that solar eclipses occur if a Torah scholar is buried without being properly eulogized, if a betrothed maiden is raped and no one hears her cries, if two brothers are killed at the same time and because of homosexuality. ( Succah 29a).

Aish's take on this is here and basically states that the fact that solar eclipses are predictable doesn't mean that they are not punishments, because "certain time periods are set aside for Divine justice to be meted out."

So here are my questions.

1. First on the Gemara itself:

a. Those of you who do not feel obligated to take every word of the gemara literally, is this one of the things you ignore? Is this just ancient science and replaceable with modern understanding? It does mention Hashem and Divine Punishment, so how do you know to discard this theory but not other instances of Divine retribution? In other words, if this passage is false, why should we believe anything else the gemara has to say on punishment?

b. Those of you who do feel obligated to take every word of the gemara literally- do you see yourselves as different from the Hindu believers? This is not superstition for you? What do you think will happen during this solar eclipse? How do you explain other solar eclipses that have come and gone without horrible world tragedies?

c. What's with the categories? Why two brothers killed at the same time? Why not two sisters? Why the rape of the betrothed girl and not any other female or any other crime? Why a eulogy of a Torah scholar and not his wife or the eulogy of a generous donor who allowed the Torah scholar to continue learning? His father in law, maybe?

d. What's the story with the indiscriminate punishment? Are we really expected to believe that our Just and Fair God is going to cause a natural disaster in Asia to punish the gays in San Fransisco? How is that supposed to be effective?

2. Second, on the Aish explanation:

a. If there are specific, immutable times set aside for punishment, doesn't that defeat the supposed purpose of the punishment? Like if I set aside every Sunday afternoon to beat my child for whatever infractions s/he has committed that week, regardless of whether any infractions were committed, doesn't that decrease my child's motivation to refrain from wrong behavior?

If we're anyway going to have solar eclipses and be subject to horrible divine punishment whenever scientists explain that these eclipses will occur, why bother being good- let's skip all the eulogies and go to a gay bar instead where we'll rape betrothed maidens and kill brothers at the same time. Party on!

b. If there are specific times set aside for punishment, doesn't that mean that this punishment should occur? Is there any statistical evidence that natural disasters or political assassinations are correllated with eclipses? No? I didn't think so. The Aish site claims variations in animal and human disease because of vast protons discharged into our atmosphere. Source? Validity?

I just don't get it.

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:16:13 GMT

What is going on over there in Meah Shearim?

I read this article and this one and still don't get it.

Why are all these people torching trash bins and violently rioting to protect some crazy woman who was starving her kid?

Hundreds of people are trashing their own city, torching their own welfare offices to protest the arrest of one insane mother? Are these the frum equivalent of bored gang members who are just looking for excuses to vandalize and this cause is as good as any? Or does anyone really think this woman was arrested falsely and that this is the best strategy to effect her release?

Do these people ignore the halachic ramifications of their actions or do they actually think their behavior reflects ratzon hashem?

The Source of the Problem

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 05:29:34 GMT

Okay, from what I understand of this article, the owner of a newspaper is suing a group of rabbis for banning his newspaper and libeling it as "unsuitable" for Hareidim. Why was it unsuitable for Hareidim? Well, it displayed photos of females. Blurred photos, to be sure, but they were still female. The owner of the paper was warned, but he persisted in his immoral ways.

Now this is all good and well as it should be. However, the problem still remains. We can't avoid talking about it for much longer. It's a serious issue that we need to face as a community.

There are females all around us. Everywhere. In stores, in the street, in hospital lobbies. In grocery check -out lines and in the elevators and in my neighbor's home. Moreover, these females are not blurred, if you've noticed. In fact, they are high-definition females. You can almost touch them, that's how real they look (not that I recommend touching them). Maybe they are 3-D even.

Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just telling it like it is.

Whose fault is all this? Yep, you know. It's difficult to admit, but you've known the answer all along. You know in your heart, down deep inside, whose fault this all is. It is the Lord's fault. He has gone and made those women. And He had plenty of reminders and plenty of chances to correct His errors. Despite how patient we have all been, there are still females everywhere around us. In fact, new ones are made every day, I would guess. Enough is enough, I say. This must come to an end.

We must ban God. Sure, He's done some good things here and there, random acts of kindness and all that. But we need to stand up and fight for what we believe in, for what the Torah requires of us. We must eradicate the evil from our midst. It will be difficult, but we must ban the insolent Lord who keeps causing females to appear over and over again, despite our repeated requests. There may be some negative consequences to this kol korei, but that's never stopped us before. We know the truth and we are willing to do whatever it takes to get our message across.

No more God, no more prayers, no more offerings, no more fasting, no more Mr. Nice Orthodox Jews. Not until He agrees to repent and eliminate all females from our surroundings. Or at the very least, make them blurry.

Depressing, feel free to skip

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:36:38 GMT

Brain cancer, like most other tragedies, is caused by a lack of modesty, apparently.

Whaddaya know.
And yet, she writes that "Hashem is all goodness" and so on. People are still passing this letter around.

If you really believe in a deity who kills young women for being pretty and wearing make-up, how do you convince yourself that the deity is all goodness?

It is possible to understand her, she is on the verge of death and trying to find some meaning for herself or some legacy to leave behind for others.

But what about the people who pass this letter along and post it when they get a chance? Do they really think a good and kind God gives people tumors for wearing tight shirts or whatever horrible sin this teenager supposedly committed?

Edited: If you cannot see the letter, I am posting it under the cut

My dear sisters,

I am writing to you in my last moments, with the last threads of my strength. I am writing to you with blood and tears, from the bottom of my broken and tormented heart.

Yes, I, Revital Avraham, 19 years old, am standing on the threshold of death, so young, but already feeling all the gates of life shutting slowly before me. I am like a beautiful flower closing its petals.
Like all of you, I had my dreams about love, husband, children and social position.
But Hashem has decided otherwise, and I know today that if I had lived differently, this would have not happened.

I was born in a religious family from the center of Israel. From the day I can remember, I knew I was a beautiful child. From kindergarten, I attracted everybody’s attention, and I knew I had been blessed with a rare beauty, and I am not exaggerating. Even though people were talking about my exceptional beauty, my dear and wise parents tried to minimize the effect of such a gift on me, and made all possible efforts to put the whole family on daily routine. But I was a bright child, and I cherished more and more my beauty.

My friends encouragements made me understand that beauty can buy anything in this world – friendship, position and honor. I learned to exploit it for my goals, I wore clothes which draw attention, my very long hair caused astonishment and envy, and every detail in my appearance was thoroughly taken care of. I enjoyed the long looks of people everywhere I went – to my deep regret.

My teachers in high school tried to change my mind, but it was already too late – I was attracted to a magic circle called “to please and be outstanding”.
I can remember one of my teachers’ words: “Revital, you have received a rare present, a special beauty – This is your trial in life, keep it carefully for the right person to come in your life”. I was pretending to be convinced, but these words were just passing by my ears. I was addicted to my looks and did everything to bring people to admiration. I know today that I have caused hundreds or even thousands of people to fail because of my clothing. I was really enjoying it!

And then I received a first warning sign. One evening, while preparing an omelet in the kitchen, and made a brisk turn and my beautiful long hair got caught in the fire and became in seconds a red and fearful flame. I was saved, but my hair had gone. I remember my hysterical crying in the hospital, and my father trying to console me: “Revital, Hashem has made a miracle. You could have been entirely burnt! You have now an opportunity to change and leave your foolish attitude behind you”.
But I didn’t listen. I was 16 years old then, and within two years my hair grew back to what it was, and everything was forgotten.

I was the queen of my class. My friends loved me, anything I wanted was granted, and I never was alone. I grew more and more beautiful with the years, and at 16, I began to put on make-up and tight clothes. At this stage, I even got involved in some trouble. It is hard for me to write about it, but I think you can guess.

I forgot to tell you about my grand-mother. She was a wonderful person, a real “Tzadekes” and I loved her very much. She was very sad and upset about my spiritual state of mind.

She was giving me money to buy more decent clothes, but nothing helped! She died before I was 17. I cried a lot and didn’t know how to live without her, and for a brief period, I even became a little bit more religious. But time eased the pain, and within a few months I was back to my bad habits, boastful and immodest as ever.

And then I received a second sign from above. One night I had a dream about my grand-mother. She was sitting on a stone and crying. I asked her why she was crying, and she pointed to her head without saying a word. I woke up very upset, but I forgot the whole thing very quickly, and this second sign melted away without any thought.

And then, I received the big blow. It came gradually but consistently. At the beginning, there were headaches, and my mother said I was tired and studying too much, that I should rest more, but deep down I felt it was something more serious.
After a month, I couldn’t even stand because of the headaches, and I thought my head was going to explode. My mother and I were worried and anxious on our way to the doctor, to get the answers to all the examinations and analyses I had been through, but the doctor’s face revealed the fearful truth. He said: “such a beautiful girl and so sick!” I burst into tears, asked for explanations. My mother and I were disoriented and helpless before this new and cruel reality: I had a cancerous tumor in my head.

It was only a question of time. I don’t remember how we got home that day. I just remember tears, fear, confusion and pain.

And suddenly I remembered the dream, my grand-mother crying and pointing to her head! If only I had understood at the time the meaning of that dream, my life would have different! But I didn’t give any importance to this dream and went on with my life. The next day, at the hospital, I began the treatment I never thought would be so painful. I felt death crawling slowly inside me, burning my bones, my blood, and my whole self.

Dear Hashem…You are all goodness, but I didn’t listen to you. Dear Father, I ignored your compassion and your messages.
The rest of my story is sad and painful, and I don’t even have the strength to write it.
My wonderful hair fell. Within a few months I was left completely bald, fearfully pale and weak. Every doctor I met was mentioning my rare beauty, and I, every time, felt my heart break a little bit more. Hashem had given me a precious gift, an outstanding beauty, and I had used it the wrong way, instead of keeping it intact and pure for a true cause. Oh Hashem!

Today I am 19 years old, living a tormented life. My days are counted, my illness is getting stronger and I feel death coming closer. I pray that my suffering be the atonement for my sins. I turn to you, my dear sisters, with a torn soul and a broken heart, and ask you to listen to my last words: be modest. There is Law and there is a Judge. And He sees all and knows all…and every one of our acts will be brought to judgment. I beg you: strengthen your modesty, don’t wait for signs, please don’t…
Do it for yourselves, do it for me!

My pillow is soaked with tears. I am writing with tremendous efforts. Please pray for me and say that you’ll keep modest so that I recover and be healthy again. I beg you… I want to live.

Revital Avraham